Robby Hoffman: A Joke About Straight Girl Problems

**Robby Hoffman** (0:04)
Do we have any straight girls here?

**SPEAKER_2** (0:06)
Any straight girls, and so brave, thank you for coming forward.

**Robby Hoffman** (0:09)
No, you are all perfect the way you are, thank you.
No, I think we need the straight girl march next year. I believe this. Last marginalized people on the planet.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:21)
You better believe that's a march I go to.

**Robby Hoffman** (0:27)
Call me a fucking ally at this shit. The Dyke March, I'm not going to that.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:35)
Eww, reeks, reeks, pee ew.

**Robby Hoffman** (0:45)
No, straight girls, it's hard, like any single straight girls here, any losers, no, it happens.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:52)
No, it happens, it happens, it happens.

**Robby Hoffman** (0:55)
Because the problem is straight girls, you know, straight girls, they have to, last time I checked, they're dating men.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:02)
Of course, I've been wrong about this before.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:04)
My wife was the Bachelorette, and she hit 25 boyfriends three years ago.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:09)
I have been wrong, but for the most part, straight girls are dating men.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:14)
And that's hard, because men aren't what they used to be.

**Robby Hoffman** (1:18)
We now have 37-year-old men. We now have 37-year-old men saying, that's so sick, that's fire. That's where we're at. As a society, that's where we're at.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:29)
You say, that's sick, that's hot. You make me fucking sick.

**Robby Hoffman** (1:35)
My friend Carmen, he called me, he's like, hey, Rob, why didn't you come to my birthday party?

**SPEAKER_3** (1:40)
I was like, huh?

**Robby Hoffman** (1:43)
He's like, yeah, I sent you the partiful.
I said, Carmen, how old are you turning? And he said, 39 I said, 39? No, I don't go to a 39-year-old grown man's birthday party. What, are you fucking gay?
Birthday parties are for women and children. What are we doing? What am I getting there? We're playing duck, duck, goose? What the fuck is going on?

**SPEAKER_3** (2:18)
Watch Robby Hoffman, Wake Up, only on Netflix.