Relationships 103 - Cheating, How To Get Over Someone & How To End A Relationship - #043

**Chris Williamson** (0:00)
Well, hello there, friends. We are back again, Relationships 103 101 and 102 landed in the top 50 Apple Podcasts worldwide chart. So if you would do me the honor, please share this episode with a friend. They've already helped a lot of people in relationships. We've had breakups and make-ups due to the advice and stories that we've given out so far. So fire it in a group chat if you would be so kind. This time around, we are talking about cheating, why we do it, what the research suggests about why men and women cheat and what they fear in relationships, how to get over someone. It's a painful process to go through when a relationship ends and perhaps you didn't want it to, and how to deliver a breakup. All of these are illustrated with some very colorful examples from our dating history, and names have been changed to protect both us and our exes and friends from being used as a public example of what to do and what not to do. Don't forget to drop me a message if any of the points resonate with you, email addresses in the show notes below or get at me at ChrisWillEx on all social media. But for now, enjoy.
It is Jonny and Yusef from Pro Pen Fitness. Hello. Today we are going to talk about Relationships 103 We have done two very successful episodes that I think have helped a lot of people, or at the very least helped us understand our own stance on relationships. I have some good feedback on the relationship. Pardon?

**Jonny** (2:03)
It's ended a relationship.

**Chris Williamson** (2:04)
It ended a relationship, so I got a message from someone I want to say who. Be careful. I got a message from a girl on Twitter saying that after she watched one of the relationships podcasts, she decided to finish a relationship she had been unhappy in for a long time, and was now four weeks hence and feeling liberated and better for it. So congratulations.

**Jonny** (2:25)
On the Instagram funnel.

**Chris Williamson** (2:27)
Exactly. So today we're actually speaking of ending relationships. We're getting to the darker parts, I think, of relationships. We're going to talk about cheating, how to get over someone and how to end relationships. It's quite a murky world, this one, isn't it? We're down into the depths now, where all of the fish have got long teeth and they've got those little angle of things that come off the top.

**Jonny** (2:53)
The lobe and the teeth have come like this.

**Chris Williamson** (2:55)
Yeah, and one of the worst things is that all of us have got really terrible-

**Yusef** (3:00)
Brilliant stories about us.

**Chris Williamson** (3:02)
Brilliant slash terrible, however you would like to look at it indeed. So yeah, I think we left off last time kind of trying to work out how to establish a good relationship and move it forward. But obviously, doesn't matter how well you try and start things off, inevitably relationships do sometimes go awry. And certainly in my experience, in relationships, the beginning of, for me, the first realization that there's something wrong is when sexual interest starts to wane. So for me, that's like the first warning signal. Like as soon as that starts, I'm like, oh man, like I'm not being interested, I'm not being challenged, I'm just not as bothered.

**Yusef** (3:49)
I would say when sexual interest starts to wane, that's the sugary coating to the relationship and it reveals any underlying malformations with the way that you've come together and it makes it more obvious because there's no longer any sugar coating to make that better. And there was two themes that you mentioned in 102 about when you meet someone and you have slightly misaligned values and as you grow together, those trajectories will move further and further apart. And then when they get to breaking point, then there's a natural progression which is breaking up. And the other thing was about tolerating things or what was the word you used? Like keeping someone right or...

**Chris Williamson** (4:30)
Yeah, drawing lines in the sand.

**Yusef** (4:32)
Yeah, having those boundaries and if you don't set them early on, over time, as the sugar coating starts to dissolve, it makes things worse.

**Chris Williamson** (4:40)
That's kind of right, isn't it?
You get kind of like compounding interest on differences between the two of you. Or it's like the trajectory of a rocket ship. Like if you're 1% off at the start, by the time you get to the moon, you're actually like 100,000 miles apart from each other.

**Yusef** (4:54)
And it's like you're holding a rope and you both just start walking in the desert.