Relational Psychology (BONDING VIA LAUGHING) with Sara Algoe and Laura Kurtz

Alie Ward (0:00)

Oh hey, this is a special bonus episode of Ologies, and it's brought to you by Verbo. We wanted to go into the psychology of laughing and bonding.

Why is laughing together one of the fastest ways humans bond? What's going on psychologically? Does anyone study this? Of course, someone does. And of course, when I was on the East Coast two weeks ago, I dropped into their office and I sat down and I hung out with them in person. And it was hard not to laugh through the entire thing, because this is just one of those studies that's cute, but it's also incredibly important for human survival. And I love that we got to record this together, because a lot of those moments happen when we're relaxed and we're just spending time together, especially when you're traveling or you're just sharing a space. And Verbo makes it easy to bring your people together so those moments can happen naturally. They work really hard to get everything right before you arrive. And if something goes wrong, VerboCare and their 24-7 support team are there to help. The people on your trip are full of surprises, not your Verbo. Book your next day on the Verbo app.

Oh hey, it's that old guy at the diner counter writing in a journal, Alie Ward. And what a heartwarming episode about Knee Slappers. We talked to two absolutely brilliant and charming psychological scientists who study why people like each other and how that affects their health, why it's good to laugh with friends, and it's neuroscience. So they've done incredible work with research at the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. And Dr. Sara Algoe is a professor, director of the Emotions and Social Interactions in Relationships Laboratory and a founder of the Love Consortium, a community of researchers who all focus on high quality social connections and the research. She is a cute, curly, round bob and was wearing a cobalt blue jumpsuit. She met me downstairs at their office on campus. The other, Dr. Laura Kurtz, has been a researcher, is an independent consultant, and is currently the program manager at the Love Consortium. And they have co-authored several studies specifically on how laughter bonds people, like the 2015 Putting Laughter in Context, Shared Laughter as a Behavioral Indicator of Relationship Well-Being. So it was Labor Day and Dr. Kurtz had on a green gingham skirt and a crisp white button-up and a tumble of blonde hair.

I was sweaty and per the usual on-campus affair, I had been recently lost and I was relieved to find their air-conditioned building. We sat in their office and gabbed up a storm about sneaky studies, how we're doing socially at the moment, why it matters. Which came first, the giggle or the oxytocin? Which activities act like magnets in relationships? The immersive bonding of a slumber party with people you trust, words versus actions, laughter amid conflict, and how connecting with old friends can keep you out of the hospital, unless you decide to try amateur rodeo night at the fair. With two social scientists who have written the book, or rather the papers, on laughter and bonding, social psychologists, Dr. Sara Algoe and Dr. Laura Kurtz.

Sara Algoe (3:34)

I'm Sara Algoe, and my pronouns are she, her. Oh yeah, I'm a professor of psychology and neuroscience.

Laura Kurtz (3:40)

I'm Laura Kurtz, my pronouns are she, her, and I am the program manager of The Love Consortium.

Alie Ward (3:46)

The Love Consortium is such a sweet name, and I noticed TLC. Did you do that on purpose?

Sara Algoe (3:52)

Yeah. You did. I figured.

Alie Ward (3:54)

So a few weeks ago, I got to sit down in North Carolina with this research duo about the ins and outs of why certain people like to hang out with each other. And yes, this is a job. It's an important one.

Sara Algoe (4:05)

So in October, we're having a virtual love conference, like an all-day conference on the science of love, which we're so excited about.

Alie Ward (4:14)

Someone studies this. I think this is why making this show always blows my mind. It's like a lot of people walking around, like don't realize that there are people in an office somewhere who like go to work, really jazzed to figure out how love works.

Sara Algoe (4:31)

Yeah. It's really rewarding.

Laura Kurtz (4:34)

And it's fun. Yeah.

Sara Algoe (4:36)

I mean, one challenging thing about it is that actually people have all kinds of their own ideas about how love works. And so on the one hand, it's really exciting to be talking about something that's so relatable, like shared laughter as part of like how people connect with each other. But it also can really bring contention into the field of love research.