Reject The Pumpkin Lord w/ Duncan Trussell

SPEAKER_1 (0:01)

Welcome, welcome to Your Mom's House.

SPEAKER_2 (0:14)

Welcome to the jungle.

SPEAKER_3 (0:16)

ABC Tonight.

SPEAKER_4 (0:18)

Abbott is back.

SPEAKER_5 (0:20)

It's gonna be the best year yet. Thank you, now we can finally turn this up.

Duncan Trussell (0:26)

And everyone's going wild.

SPEAKER_2 (0:28)

Y'all think you run this school, but you don't.

SPEAKER_3 (0:30)

It's going great. Abbott Elementary.

SPEAKER_2 (0:32)

Anything can happen in the jungle, right guys?

SPEAKER_3 (0:36)

Season premiere tonight on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

SPEAKER_2 (0:41)

You ready?

SPEAKER_3 (0:41)

What up, Duncan?

Duncan Trussell (0:42)

Yeah.

Christina P (0:43)

Duncan stepped out is in the house today.

Duncan Trussell (0:45)

Hello, I'm happy to be here.

Christina P (0:46)

Dude, you look great.

Duncan Trussell (0:47)

Thank you.

Christina P (0:48)

What are you doing?

Duncan Trussell (0:49)

Well, I quit smoking.

Christina P (0:53)

Oh, I know.

Duncan Trussell (0:54)

I know. It's a bummer. It's the one thing that has been like sort of making me rethink it is smoking during these wonderful, wonderful hours. I get to spend.

Christina P (1:04)

I don't mean to be a dick.

SPEAKER_2 (1:05)

Do it. Oh, please. It's smoke away.

Christina P (1:08)

It's 10 a.m. I've got my martini. Smoke for poor Osos. Yeah, I'm drinking and smoking at 10 in the morning.

SPEAKER_2 (1:15)

I'm still drinking water.

Duncan Trussell (1:16)

It's not smoking.

Christina P (1:17)

Well, vodka, even your trainer will tell you that vodka is like nothing.

Duncan Trussell (1:21)

Oh, yeah.

Christina P (1:21)

You can drink this and still be healthy.

Duncan Trussell (1:23)

Oh, my trainer says that all the time. My invisible trainer from hell.

My demon trainer.

SPEAKER_2 (1:33)

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you. Yeah.

Duncan Trussell (1:35)

I have kicked so many things in my life. Tell me. Oh, I was addicted to ketamine. I got accidentally addicted to Benzos.

Christina P (1:43)

Can I ask you, how did you what ketamine in like the inhalation form?

Duncan Trussell (1:48)

Rails of ketamine.

Christina P (1:50)

Oh, you get it as a pill and you snort it.

Duncan Trussell (1:52)

Yeah. I snorted it just in any form I could find it. I mean, I got to the point where I was cooking it down, you know, or from the liquid is like a pure, like a heroin addict.

SPEAKER_3 (2:02)

Yeah.

Christina P (2:02)

Shut up.

Duncan Trussell (2:03)

I would have shot it up, but I just, I was, I'm not that organized.

SPEAKER_3 (2:07)

You cooked it down.

Christina P (2:09)

You had like a cookery, like a spoon and the lighter and the whole.

Duncan Trussell (2:14)

I remember like my first, like uncomfortable moment with my ketamine dealer is he brought me liquid ketamine and I'm like, well, what do I do with this? And he's like, you gotta cook it down. He's like, I didn't have time. I'm like, cook it down. What are you talking about? He's like, you gotta get a hot plate.

I'm like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm like, isn't this what I'm paying you for? Like to cook this down. Isn't this like the perk is that you cook down. Yeah.

Christina P (2:39)

He just gave you the ingredients.

Duncan Trussell (2:41)

But these are, when you're having conversations like this. Yeah. These are the red flags.

SPEAKER_5 (2:45)

I know what you mean.

Duncan Trussell (2:46)

Time to slow down. You're arguing with your ketamine dealer about who cooks it down.

Christina P (2:52)

So he gave you detailed instructions.

Duncan Trussell (2:54)

It's not that hard.

Christina P (2:55)

Okay. Well, for people listening, I mean, how do you cook down your ketamine?

SPEAKER_1 (2:58)

YouTube's gonna love this.

Christina P (3:00)

Two minutes in and we're talking about how to cook ketamine.

Duncan Trussell (3:03)

It's really not, you just, you get it. You get a hot plate.

Christina P (3:05)

Okay. From Amazon?

SPEAKER_2 (3:07)

Is there a list on Amazon?

Duncan Trussell (3:08)

Amazon ketamine hot plate. I'm sure there is a list. And you just cooked out, you put the liquid on the hot plate. You have to sort of, you can burn it. But as the liquid evaporates, you're left with ketamine, the white shit. And so, yeah, and then you just like go into a disassociative ketamine alternate reality.

SPEAKER_3 (3:30)

It's so good.

SPEAKER_2 (3:31)

It's the best. I love ketamine.

Christina P (3:34)

I can see that one.

SPEAKER_2 (3:35)

Me too.

Christina P (3:36)

I like pills, I like Xanax, but that's, that's, that's it.

SPEAKER_1 (3:39)

Benzos are great.

Christina P (3:40)

They're the best.

SPEAKER_1 (3:41)

The best.