Ready to Find Love? Start with These 5 Shifts

**Jay Shetty** (0:01)
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Hey, it's Jay, I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute. And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself, because you deserve it. And yeah, I'll talk to you soon.
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. In today's episode, we're going to talk about love, finding the right partner, and how to meet your soulmate. But before we get into it, I want to start with an idea that sounds completely devoid of romance. Finding love isn't about chemistry. It's actually just about probability. Now, I know that sounds like I'm about to reduce one of the most beautiful parts of life to statistics, but stay with me. I actually think understanding the role probability plays in love is one of the most hopeful things you can possibly learn. Think about this for a moment. Picture your ideal person. They're kind, emotionally available, funny, thoughtful, and they share the values that matter most to you.
They're aligned with what they want out of life. In fact, maybe they even live right in your own same town.
You could be shopping at the same grocery store, driving the same streets or grabbing coffee from cafes only a few blocks apart. But if your lives never cross paths, none of your potential chemistry ever gets the chance to matter. So maybe the question you should be asking isn't, when will I meet my person?
It's actually, is my life creating enough opportunities for the right person to meet me in the first place? Every love story has to have an origin point. But the truth is that origin point usually isn't going to look very romantic at first. Think about the couples you know in your life. More often than not, the way they met was simple, and maybe even unremarkable. They went to the same gym, they were co-workers, they both attended the same birthday party.
They were in the same rung club.
Maybe they met somewhere ordinary, and most importantly, somewhere that was part of a routine for them. Because before there was chemistry, there had to be proximity. Before there can be compatibility, there has to be opportunity. And that's why I think dating can feel so confusing for so many people today. We live in a world where it's easier than ever to avoid people we don't already know.
We work from home, we order groceries to our doorstep, we stream our entertainment instead of going out, we wear headphones on walks, we use self-checkout at the grocery store. None of those habits are bad. They make life easier, more comfortable, and more efficient. But they also significantly reduce the number of new people our lives naturally come into contact with.
Maybe, and I think this is true for far more people than we realize, you simply haven't built a life that creates enough opportunities for you and your person's paths to cross. That's not discouraging, it's actually incredibly empowering. Because the beautiful thing about understanding probability is that it shifts the conversation away from blaming yourself for not finding your person yet. Unlike chemistry, compatibility or timing, probability is something you can actually influence. So today, I want to go through 5 psychological concepts that completely change the way you should approach meeting the right person. By the end of this episode, I hope you will have totally reframed the way you look at the dating landscape. Look, I know being single can be exhausting, especially if you don't want to be single anymore. That's why I want to put the power back in your hands. Here's a truth I want to start with. You need to understand that deep attraction is often built over time. One of the biggest myths we've inherited about love is that we'll simply know when we meet the right person.