Pt.1: Introducing "Moe" the revised virgin

**Moe** (0:00)
Why do you do that for?

**Zee** (0:01)
because it's done.

**Moe** (0:02)
No, it's not. You don't see the shit.

**Zee** (0:04)
Well, put it back on then.

**Moe** (0:08)
Every time I try to do something nice for y'all, it's like I get in the air.

**Zee** (0:12)
Well, you want to be nice enough to introduce yourself to?

**Moe** (0:15)
To who?

**Zee** (0:16)
To your name.

**Moe** (0:17)
Me? My name is Big Day.

**Zee** (0:19)
Hey, that's mine. That's mine. That's copyrighted. That's copyrighted.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:28)
Hey, Siri, what's my name?

**SPEAKER_4** (0:31)
Hey, Siri.

**Zee** (0:33)
Hey, Siri. What's my name?

**SPEAKER_5** (0:38)
You're Big Dick Daddy, but since we're friends, I get to call you Big Dick Daddy, triple OGA, motherfucking G Long, Dick Titty, having ass, motherfucking King Princess, but you fuck with me.

**Zee** (1:17)
And this one's name is Moe.

**Moe** (1:21)
I mean, honestly, I prefer Moe is so simple. You know what I'm saying? And then like-

**May-May** (1:26)
How do you spell it though? It's just M-O, right?

**Zee** (1:28)
No, M-O-E because he's a hoe.

**Moe** (1:30)
No, it's M-O. God, Lord have mercy.

**May-May** (1:33)
Right? Right?

**SPEAKER_3** (1:35)
I mean, do y'all want to know more? Put my business on shit.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:39)
Yes, I am a-

**May-May** (1:41)
H-O-E. What does that spell?

**Moe** (1:44)
What do they call themselves?

**Zee** (1:47)
Deliberated soul? I don't know what it is.

**Moe** (1:48)
No, no, no, no. When you're like, when you're trying to come back from being a hoe, what does that call it?
They call themselves something. Like a re-reincarnated something, re-something.

**Zee** (2:01)
And re-versionated?

**May-May** (2:02)
Yeah.

**Moe** (2:04)
Honestly, bruh, if I could take everything back, I swear to God, I would stay a virgin. Let me tell you why.

**May-May** (2:11)
Damn, are we getting into it?

**Zee** (2:13)
We're getting on here.

**Moe** (2:15)
Let me, obviously, I don't want to start it out by saying that, you know, I went through a very toxic stage in my life where I was fornicating with a lot of females. I don't want to put out the number just because it's very personal. But then again, it's nothing to brag about. But it's... Three digits. Huh? Shut up. Shut up. That's my fast line. That's my toxic line. Okay.

**SPEAKER_4** (2:40)
Can you press that button?

**Moe** (2:42)
Honestly, I'm pretty sure that everyone has heard this so many different times. But, I mean, if I could do it all over again, one, I would... One, I'm never introduced to the feeling of pussy in the first place.
Y'all gonna be laughing at me. I'm not introduced to the feeling of pussy, so therefore, I don't know how pussy feels like, right? And if you're a virgin and you listen to this, I'm not going to explain what pussy feels like, because you do not need to focus on what pussy feels like. You need to focus on yourself, King.

**Zee** (3:13)
Take a shot every time he says pussy.

**May-May** (3:15)
Literally.

**Moe** (3:16)
Okay. Shut the hell up. This is my time right now. I'm trying to spit some shit. You hear me? Okay. So point number two is the energy that you get from a woman that you're sexually active with. It's time, money, and effort and energy that you're giving into this so-called relationship that you could have been using to better yourself. I mean, obviously, females, you can laugh if you want to. This is my pain that we're talking about here. Shut the hell up. You don't sit back.
Hey, you don't sit back and listen to this shit. Okay. You know how bad I was growing up?

**SPEAKER_3** (3:56)
Don't look at me.

**Moe** (3:58)
I'm talking.
Side note. Okay. High school, right? I was such a fucking hard hit in high school. I was learning different ways to sneak out of the house without my parents ever noticing, right? Giving them fake ass stories. You were, too?

**May-May** (4:17)
Nigga, it was so funny because, okay, I actually have to tell you. So this one night, I tried to sneak out, and then right as we start driving to the park, mom calls me, she's like, where are you? And I'm like, I'm in my bed. And she's like, nope, I'm looking at your bed. And then she started literally cussing me out in Arabic. And my phone wasn't even on speaker, but I could hear, and she was like, I'm taking you home. And I was like, yes, because I'm dead at this point.

**Moe** (4:41)
I remember.

**May-May** (4:42)
I'm literally dead. I was about to pee my pantoons in the house.