Psych Med Withdrawal Expert Laura Delano

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**Theo Von** (0:14)
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**Theo Von** (0:30)
Today's guest is an author and founder of the Inner Compass Initiative. She wrote Unshrunk, A Story of Psychiatric Treatment Resistance. We talk about mental health, getting on to medicines, and then how to get off of them if you want to or need to. I had a fascinating conversation and I'm thankful for her time. Today's guest is Miss Laura Delano.
Laura Delano, thank you for joining us today. You wrote a book called Unshrunk, A Story of Psychiatric Treatment Resistance. I want to talk about that today.
I want to talk about my own journey with antidepressants and with trying to get off of the medications and what that's been like for me. Or I want to discuss that with you.
I also want to iterate that one in six Americans right now are taking mental health drugs. And that's even higher amongst college students. And I want to talk about how to properly get off medication, what that's like for people in that journey. But first, I want to hear about your story. You've had kind of a, like, so far lifelong journey with mental health and medication. Is that fair to say?

**Laura Delano** (2:03)
Yeah, going back to childhood.

**Theo Von** (2:05)
Okay. And is it okay if we start there just so our listeners are, like, kind of clued in on how you got here?

**Laura Delano** (2:12)
Sure. Yeah. So I grew up in Connecticut in an affluent town. I was born to a family who had a lot of resources. So, you know, private school, all my material needs met. Like, on paper, I just had this really wonderful life.
And I was always, quote, unquote, good at school. Like, I could just sit down and do rote tasks, like, well. It never bothered me or I never got bored with it. And so I just, I kind of was one of these girls who had had it all together. Good student. I was a good athlete.

**Theo Von** (2:46)
What sport did you play?

**Laura Delano** (2:47)
Well, squash was my main sport through college. But, you know, when I was younger, like tennis, field hockey, basically all the, like, textbook prepster.

**Theo Von** (2:56)
Oh, rich sports.

**Laura Delano** (2:57)
Waspie.
Yeah. Like, picture the most stereotypical New England waspie prepster and, like, that's right here. Literally down to, like, all whites on the tennis court. That's me. So, yeah, so I just, like, had it all together. And then when I was 13, you know, there I was. I was president of the middle school. I had straight A's. I was a nationally ranked squash player. I had it all together. And I was looking in the mirror one night, brushing my teeth. And I just started looking deeper and deeper into my eyes. And then I just slowly, everything around me started to go black. And I left space and time. And I was just, like, floating in, like, what felt like outer space, looking at this girl in the mirror. And I was like, who is she? Who is she? Who is she? And then I realized this is a stranger.
And I, when I came to, I was, like, terrified by this out-of-body experience. I didn't know what to make of it. And the only conclusion I could draw was, like, I must not have a real self. I must be a robot programmed to perform well. But, like, who am I? What do I care about? What really matters to me? And I realized I didn't know the answer. And I felt immediately, like, my whole life had changed, and I was just aware suddenly that I was imprisoned by these adults around me, and I just freaked out, and didn't know what to do, knew I couldn't tell anyone about this experience, and so I just pretended it hadn't happened, and I just tried to, like, continue on being the good girl. But that, you know, compartmentalization, like, wasn't sustainable, and so I eventually began spinning out. I started cutting myself. I was, like, fantasizing about death. I started acting out at home, like, hitting my mom and screaming and cursing, and my parents were just like, what has happened?

**Theo Von** (4:42)
Did you think you were realizing something?

**Laura Delano** (4:44)