Processing Boredom | Stan Chronicles 8 | Nuns in Space S2 E8 (from the Vault #701)

**Drew Ackerman** (0:06)
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary, it's time for the podcaster that hopes he could be the simple syrup in your lemonade, or simply give you some Simply Serpey something.
I can't think of a third word. Simply Serpey Syllables for sure. And what has Serpey Sloppy Syllables but Sleep With Me? The podcast that's here to put you to sleep. And here's a couple of ways we keep the show going. If you could remember to check them out tomorrow when your hand hits the fridge, you could find everything at sleepwithmepodcast.com.
Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome to Sleep With Me, the podcast that's here to put you to sleep. We do with the bedtime story. All you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, you know, stuff tossing and turning. I think I said that whatever's keeping you awake, changes in schedule, travel, you're out of town, someone else is out of town, weather, you got something big coming up. You know, I know you got a lot of you like going on. And I'm here to help. And what I'm going to try to do, as I said, is create a safe place where you could set aside your service, keeping you awake. And the way I'm going to do it is I'm going to try to keep you company. I'm going to smooth this safe place. I'm going to pad it. I'm going to rub it down. I'm going to say safe place. And then I'm going to pad it again with the universal sign.
This is a double universal sign. So it actually is made with eye contact, in this case imaginary eye contact, where you pad a safe place and you say, come on over and sit down. But also, I'm going to move away from this safe place. So you have space in your safe place. There's another universal symbol, where someone says, pad to a spot and says, hey, come on down and sit next to me. So I just want to clarify that this was the other one, where we say, hey, come on and sit down. This safe place is for you, as your space place. Not in space, but it could be. You could imagine it, but you'll have plenty of space in your place.
You know what I mean. You know the difference. And then there's the third kind, where they say, authority figures in my life, they pad a thing and they say, we're going to try to do this the easy way first. They say, come on over here, sit down, Andrew, and have a seat next to us. And that's when I say, there's a phone ringing somewhere, excuse me one second. And then I say, zoinks. But I don't say zoinks. My shoes and my arms make that sound when I'm moving outside the panel. Hardy, hardy. Anyway, if you're new, what I'm going to do is send my voice across the deep dark night. I'm going to use the lulling, soothing, kareeky dulcet tones. Pointless meanders, rusty tangents, lots of like, lots of extra words and stuff that can be a bit confusing. And I'll say it right up front, even though we're six or seven minutes into the show, this podcast isn't for everybody. The kareeky dulcets aren't for everybody. But give it a few tries. There's no pressure on your end to like me or to trust me right up front. I'm here to earn your trust and see if it works for you, see if I could help. It's kind of like a free trial. You could give this a shot. And most listeners, especially your listeners that listen all the time, say, hey, it took me two or three tries. So I'm here to help and just see how it goes. That's all I ask. And you don't have to do that. You could stop listening whenever you want. But I guess my main message is I'm here to help. Let's see how it goes.
But here and even to try to earn your trust, just to barely attempt it.
That's why I did that thing with the Safe Place 2 I said, here, you check the Safe Place out. You don't get, you know, I don't get to sit near you. You know, that comes, you know, that's optional. You say, hey, Scoots, come over here. Can you bring me a water? I'd say, sure, it's a podcast. It doesn't exactly work. Oh yeah, here's your water. Oh, forgot to ask if you wanted it cold or warm or medium. And then you might say, has anyone ever ordered a medium or a warm water? You see, occasionally, usually they'll just tell me they want tea or cocoa or something. But occasionally people like, I just want to make sure I have your water correct. And also believe it or not, I have a cool water menu. I only bring that out for the most like a, you know, delicate or interested kind of sewers of water temperature. But you seem like you're really, your palate goes across the spectrum of cool, cold, ice cold. As we used to sing on the dance floor in the 90s or the early aughts, you know, ice cold, how cold. But so I do have a menu of degrees of coolness, and it's not based on Celsius or Fahrenheit, you know.