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Possum Rescues, Measles Madness & Fat Bear Feasts artwork

Possum Rescues, Measles Madness & Fat Bear Feasts

The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast

September 22, 2026

King Scott is officially the Rizz Show’s newest wildlife hero after rescuing an injured possum from his backyard, carefully boxing it up and delivering it to a local animal rescue.

Speakers Rizzuto, Rafe, King Scott, Lern, Moon

TopicsComedySociety & Culture

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements.

Rizzuto (0:30)

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Rafe (1:30)

You work hard, you pay your bills, but with credit cards, higher gas and grocery prices, you're making the payments, but not getting ahead.

King Scott (1:38)

This is James Hawkins, president of Golden Oak Lending.

Rizzuto (1:41)

Golden Oak can help you refinance, consolidate bills and free up monthly cash flow.

King Scott (1:46)

Call today for a free mortgage checkup. There's never a charge to talk with us.

Rafe (1:55)

NMLS 114937

Lern (1:57)

Call 314-567-GOLD.

Rizzuto (2:00)

Rizzuto. Rizzuto.

All right. Yes. Feeling good today. I mean, I got good sleep. Lucky. Went to sleep nice and early last night.

Lern (2:14)

Good for you.

Rizzuto (2:16)

Okay, I mean.

Moon (2:18)

Yeah, what is that?

SPEAKER_1 (2:18)

Good for you.

Rafe (2:20)

Sorry, I feel okay today.

Lern (2:22)

Oh.

Moon (2:23)

Do we have a Christian Bale Good for You button?

King Scott (2:25)

We need it.

Rizzuto (2:26)

I don't need it.

King Scott (2:26)

Oh, we need it.

Lern (2:27)

Oh!

The lights. Or whatever he says.

Rizzuto (2:31)

Yeah. Good for you.

I'm reading here that Scott, you rescued a possum yesterday.

Lern (2:37)

Standing up. Where is the hero button right now?

Rizzuto (2:40)

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Lern (2:42)

He called me yesterday.

King Scott (2:44)

I know it's weird to see a Shalbina T-bone steak laying in the backyard.

Rizzuto (2:47)

Did you touch it with your hands?

King Scott (2:49)

I put on my glove.

Rizzuto (2:51)

You touched what could possibly be a diseased thing and you have a newborn at home.

Lern (2:56)

Possums are very clean.

King Scott (2:57)

Well, yeah, they can't really get diseases and nothing can transmit to humans.

Rizzuto (3:00)

They eat rabies. Where did you see that on TikTok?

Lern (3:03)

The Missouri Department of Conservation.

King Scott (3:05)

Their website even tells you on there, yeah, they can't transmit to human and pets.

Rizzuto (3:09)

Yeah, until today.

Lern (3:10)

They are actually great animals because they eat ticks.

King Scott (3:14)

Yeah, they get rid of all the bugs.

Lern (3:16)

And honestly, they don't need much.

Rizzuto (3:17)

You have a newborn at home. Let's take no chances bringing in weird diseases.

King Scott (3:21)

I didn't bring it in the house. I had a glove.

Rizzuto (3:23)

Maybe you touched it.

King Scott (3:24)

With a glove, not in my hand. I was being safe just in case it did have something weird on it, but I picked it up, put it in a nice little box with a towel in there, and I took it to this place in Overland that rescues all the little critters like that. And so they accepted it.

Moon (3:39)

You know what they did with it?

Rizzuto (3:40)

What's that? They threw it out.

Lern (3:42)

No, they didn't.

King Scott (3:43)

Well, it might be a meal today.

Lern (3:44)

They threw it out. They probably ate it. But you know what? I am so proud of you. And you called the right person yesterday.

Rizzuto (3:49)

That's a Shalbina T-bone?

King Scott (3:51)

Yeah, that's a Shalbina T-bone steak. That's good stuff right there.

Rizzuto (3:54)

Anybody ever eaten possum?

Lern (3:55)

Hell no.

Rizzuto (3:57)

You guys are from... Not knowingly, you guys are from southern Illinois.

Lern (3:59)

I don't know.

Rafe (3:59)

Yeah, there's a chance.

Lern (4:00)

What? I don't know what you guys eat down there. We eat crawfish, dude.

Rafe (4:03)

There's a chance.

Lern (4:04)

We eat crawdads.

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