Positivity Through Tough Times, Re-Defining ‘Manhood’, and The Power of Humor | Ask Me Anything Vol. 15 with Dr. Michael Gervais

Michael Gervais (0:01)

If a person doesn't know how to be vulnerable to something, they can never understand bravery and risk taking, and they can never understand the frontier because they're holding back, they're playing it safe, and that safety that we play in that way, one, never lets another person in, two, prevents you from understanding what you're fully capable of.

Welcome back, or welcome to another Ask Me Anything on Finding Mastery. I am your host, Dr. Michael Gervais, by trade and training a high-performance psychologist. And the purpose behind these conversations, behind these AMAs, is to hear from you, to explore the topics and questions that you have been wrestling with on your path to becoming.

So we're back for AMA 15 with our incredible co-host, O'Neil Cespedes. And we've got a fun one for you today. You hit us up with some great questions. In this episode, we're going to explore how humor can be a powerful tool in high-performing environments. The intimate link between physical pain and emotional wellbeing.

The changing definition of manhood. How to practice psychological agility. Navigating the shame of dealing with invisible struggles. Setting intentions for the new year. And we're getting into so much more than that as well. So with that, let's jump right into Vol. 15 of Finding Mastery's, Ask Me Anything.

O'Neil Cespedes (1:37)

Dr. Mike.

Michael Gervais (1:39)

Yeah, yeah.

O'Neil Cespedes (1:39)

Happy New Year.

Michael Gervais (1:40)

I mean, what, how did it happen this fast?

O'Neil Cespedes (1:44)

We're getting older, that's why. You know how I go.

Michael Gervais (1:48)

Happy New Year to you as well.

O'Neil Cespedes (1:50)

Hey, let me, well, thank you, first of all, but let me congratulate you.

Michael Gervais (1:54)

Yeah.

O'Neil Cespedes (1:55)

USA Today.

Michael Gervais (1:56)

I know, how about it?

O'Neil Cespedes (1:57)

Debut number 10, that's big time.

Michael Gervais (1:59)

You know what?

Our community came together. And so what a treat, what a surprise. Like I had this thought that there was something happening with the concepts in the book and it was private and then kind of ship it and see if there's a little bit of traction. And I knew our community was gonna show up. The Finding Mastery community was gonna show up and they did.

And then it just one level out, another level out. And all of a sudden, before you know it, number 10 on the USA Today, that was such a surprise.

O'Neil Cespedes (2:35)

Well deserved.

Michael Gervais (2:35)

Yeah, stoked, it's been really fun. So thank you.

O'Neil Cespedes (2:39)

Of course, of course. So I know you're becoming big time now. So I just wanna be your security. I wanna be the guy that's like, Dr. Mike can't talk right now.

I'm going to the clubs and be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, we're with Dr. Mike. You gonna let us in?

Michael Gervais (2:55)

Oh my God, yeah, I don't think that that card comes with the USA Today. No, I don't think that card came.

Yeah, the card comes in the mail, right?

O'Neil Cespedes (3:04)

I mean, I think so.

Michael Gervais (3:05)

Yeah, right, yeah, I just didn't get that one.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:08)

Okay, well, all right.

Michael Gervais (3:09)

Hey, how do you celebrate New Year, New You? Like, what do you think about that?

O'Neil Cespedes (3:14)

I mean, I don't really subscribe to it. You know, I think it's cliche.

Michael Gervais (3:18)

Yeah.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:18)

But then I'm the person who always goes left when people go right. So maybe I'm just doing that just for the hell of it. I don't know.

Michael Gervais (3:24)

Well, I do like the science that when you can find moments to start or restart, you know, like I do like that bit of research. Like a Monday is a way to start new.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:35)

Yeah.

Michael Gervais (3:35)

And a Wednesday could be a way to start new as well.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:38)

Yeah.

Michael Gervais (3:38)

You know, like beginning of whatever, turning over a new leaf, wherever you can find those moments. I do like that ability to recalibrate.

To reset. And it can be daily, weekly, it could be annually. Of course, I'm not, the research is very clear that resolutions don't hold. And so you're not gonna hear me talking about resolutions. That's not gonna happen.

O'Neil Cespedes (4:04)

You know what? I think I'm lying to you.

Michael Gervais (4:06)

Oh, you've got resolutions.

O'Neil Cespedes (4:08)

I don't, not outright. I don't say it, but I got up this morning and I said to myself, man, I need to start mobilizing in the morning. I got up like a five-some this morning because I hurt my back years ago doing jiu-jitsu and ever since I hurt my back, it's killed a lot of my flexibility. So I got up this morning and I was mobilizing and, well, let me back up.