Ponytails, Butt Cuts & a Grapefruit-Sized Emergency artwork

Ponytails, Butt Cuts & a Grapefruit-Sized Emergency

The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast

July 23, 2026

There are days when The Rizzuto Show has a plan... and then there are episodes like this one. It all starts innocently enough with a studio full of ponytails and a heated debate over whether the infamous 90s "butt cut" haircut deserves its comeback.
Speakers: Rizz, Lern, Rafe, Scott, Moon
**Rizz** (0:00)
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**SPEAKER_2** (0:49)
What's the secret recipe to making money topics interesting? Think you start off by relating money to your everyday life, like more vacations, more living, less worry about your next paycheck. And that's how we built the Stackey Benjamin Show, the personal finance show. It's full of good times, great laughs, and big lessons. Whether you're paying off debt, building wealth, or just trying to stop hemorrhaging money at the grocery store, we got you. Find the Stackey Benjamin Show wherever you get your podcasts. The greatest money show on earth, now part of the Gamut Podcast Network.
Rizzuto.

**Rizz** (1:20)
Rizzuto. Rizzuto. Hey!
All right, guys. Yes. Why are you shaking your head?

**Lern** (1:27)
Don't talk to me about what I'm doing over here, okay?

**Rizz** (1:29)
What do you mean?

**Lern** (1:30)
I don't know. You guys look so great.

**Rizz** (1:32)
You're in my periphery.

**Rafe** (1:34)
Periphery.

**Lern** (1:35)
Honestly, I got so much mucus draining down my throat right now. It's a freaking nightmare.

**Rizz** (1:38)
Oh, no. Lucky.
Oh, we're a, dude, we're a three-ponytail show today.

**Lern** (1:43)
Yeah.

**Rizz** (1:44)
This is awesome.
Scott's got his hair in a ponytail. Rafe's got his hair in a ponytail. Look at this guy.

**Lern** (1:50)
Yeah, look at you, dude. You guys look sweet.

**Scott** (1:51)
Dude, your pony looks red.

**SPEAKER_7** (1:53)
Steven Seagal.

**Rizz** (1:55)
Yeah.

**Lern** (1:55)
It's Steven Seagal Thursday, everybody. Welcome.

**Rafe** (1:57)
Yep.

**Rizz** (1:58)
Black t-shirt.

**Rafe** (1:59)
It's out for Justice Thursday.
It's hard to kill Thursday. It's Under Siege Thursday.

**Rizz** (2:04)
Dude, we look like henchmen.

**Rafe** (2:06)
It's fire down below Thursday. We are all about to get killed by the main star of the next Jason Statham.

**Lern** (2:11)
Do we not look like henchmen? You do. Go collect cars outside.

**Rizz** (2:15)
Amazing.

**Moon** (2:16)
Oh my gosh.

**Rafe** (2:17)
We do look like guys that are definitely going to die in the first act of the movie.

**Rizz** (2:22)
I'm cutting my hair tomorrow, so.

**Lern** (2:23)
How short?

**Rizz** (2:24)
I don't know.

**Rafe** (2:25)
Yeah.

**Lern** (2:26)
Broccoli cut?

**Rafe** (2:27)
Go drastic.

**Rizz** (2:28)
Oh, broccoli cut, yes.

**Lern** (2:29)
Do it so the kids stop because it's so stupid. Should I be the first adult to get a broccoli cut in America?

**SPEAKER_7** (2:35)
You could single handedly ruin it for them.

**Lern** (2:37)
Prominent adults need to start getting broccoli cut so the kids get a different do.

**Rafe** (2:40)
Yeah, you could start a movement. Broccoli's out.

**Rizz** (2:45)
Once the adults start.

**Rafe** (2:45)
I saw an old man at Costco with broccoli cut, it's out.

**Rizz** (2:48)
Once the adults start doing the broccoli head, it's over.

**Moon** (2:51)
Why are you guys so against the Utes?

**Lern** (2:53)
I'm not. I love the Utes, but they look ridiculous. And they all look the same. When Patrick Mahomes did it like three years ago, it's out. Find something new, kids. You're good enough to do that.

**Rizz** (3:02)
And you know what? When we were younger, the adults were saying our haircuts were dumb.

**Lern** (3:05)
Right.

**Moon** (3:06)
And that wasn't cool. They were...

**Rafe** (3:09)
Yeah, but looking back, our little middle butt parts were pretty uncool.

**Moon** (3:13)
Our middle butt...

**Lern** (3:14)
The Devin Salwa? The butt cuts were not as cool as we thought they were.

**Moon** (3:18)
The butt cut is back, by the way.

**Lern** (3:19)
Have you been in a high school recently?

**Rizz** (3:20)
The down the middle part, is that what that's called?

**Rafe** (3:23)
Yeah.

**Lern** (3:23)
The Jonathan Taylor Thomas? What's a butt cut? The butt cut.

**Rafe** (3:26)
It's like a butt crack in the middle of your head.

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