OpenAI Wants A Government Bailout

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I'm Arch Manning.

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I'm Madison Skinner. I'm Eva Jovich. I'm Decoria Moore.

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Tell us your fitness goals this summer to enter the Red Bull Athlete Challenge. You'll get to try each of our workouts for a chance to win an ultimate Red Bull experience.

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Think you have what it takes?

**Scott Galloway** (1:00)
Today's number, $26.2 million. That's how much the citizens of Atlanta spent on OnlyFans last year, the most of any US city. Ed, why did the scarecrow win an award?

**Ed Elson** (1:12)
Why?

**Scott Galloway** (1:13)
Because he was outstanding in his field. So in case you need to be caught up, I'm going to tell dad jokes until Michael Symbolis, the chief investment officer from JP Morgan accepts our apology for offending him for telling a dirty joke on the episode he appeared.

**Ed Elson** (1:39)
I actually find the dad jokes funnier than the sex jokes.

**Scott Galloway** (1:43)
I'm sorry, we need to fix that. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

**Ed Elson** (1:46)
Why is that?

**Scott Galloway** (1:47)
Because the P is silent.
Michael, accept our apology. Or don't. Release the dick jokes.

**Ed Elson** (1:55)
Actually, that's my new position. I don't want him to accept it. I like this new direction.

**Scott Galloway** (1:59)
How are you?

**Ed Elson** (2:00)
Doing very well.

**Scott Galloway** (2:01)
It's coming home.

**Ed Elson** (2:02)
I don't know about that because that was a pretty shocking performance. This will come out on Monday and we're recording before Sunday night, so we'll see if England's still in the World Cup. But yeah, the Congo performance was not great.

**Scott Galloway** (2:13)
They have to play Mexico? Is the next game Mexico at Azteca?

**Ed Elson** (2:18)
Yeah, Mexico Sunday.

**Scott Galloway** (2:19)
Yeah, it's going to be a tough one. Did you see Team USA?

**Ed Elson** (2:22)
Team USA looks good.

**Scott Galloway** (2:23)
The scary part is the star of the US team, Falarin Baligan received a controversial red card.

**Ed Elson** (2:31)
Yeah, I saw.

**Scott Galloway** (2:32)
Do you see that?
I think that's very anti-American. I don't know.

**Ed Elson** (2:36)
By the way, discrimination against the Yanks.

**Scott Galloway** (2:42)
Do you know what Falarin Baligan and Scott Galloway have in common? Other than exceptional athletic skill.

**Ed Elson** (2:47)
What's that?

**Scott Galloway** (2:48)
We're both anchor babies. His mother was seven months pregnant and the airline wouldn't let her fly, and so he was born in the US. That's why he's on Team USA. Sylvia Levine and Tom Galloway, who met in Toronto at a dance, my mom was seven and a half months pregnant. Pretty sure they weren't wed. I think they've been lying to me about that.
And it's too late to check now. And they decided they couldn't endure another winter. This is a true story. And my mom wrote in the Toronto Globe and Mail that the city with the best weather in North America was the city called San Diego. So they loaded up my mom's Austin mini-metro, which is essentially a lawnmower with doors. I don't know if you've ever seen Mr. Bean, it's the go-kart. And seven and a half months pregnant, my mom and my dad traversed across the US with no air conditioning in their car and landed in San Diego. And five weeks later, I was born.
So had this ridiculous attempt to turn back the 14th Amendment been in place now, yours truly would not be an American citizen. So what I am asking is that the IRS recognize that I'm not a citizen as I want to move to Dubai, and I want the $100 million in taxes, and my company have paid over the last decade. I want it back. According to you, fucking Stephen Miller and Donald Trump, I am not a citizen, meaning I'm not obligated to pay taxes in the United States. So anchor baby here, anchor baby, revoke my citizenship and tax status, please.