Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 9 | When the Wagon's a Rockin'

Erika (0:01)

Welcome to Legends of Avantris.

Mike (0:04)

I am Grico Grimgrin, and you are listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time.

Carlos (0:11)

Torbek recently, in a drunken rampage, stole the cardboard cutout of Clementine from the Big Top extravaganza. Her whereabouts is currently unknown.

Rich (0:23)

The letter goes on to say if we turn him in, we'll get Frost back, and I'm sure they're gonna, I don't know, kill him or imprison him.

Erika (0:28)

I mean, how are we expected to choose between Torbek and Frosty?

Mike (0:38)

Something has happened.

Rich (0:41)

What, you just won that rap battle?

Erika (0:43)

I must produce an heir.

Erika (0:49)

I need to fuck a troll.

Rich (0:59)

Okay, why don't we go to the drink cart? That's the best idea you've had all night.

Carlos (1:03)

Free drinks at the Snail Racing.

Carlos (1:07)

Let's let this race begin.

Carlos (1:09)

Thank you everyone for coming out tonight. Free drinks at the exit.

Carlos (1:14)

Don't worry, eyes are always watching here at the Witchlight Carnival.

Carlos (1:18)

And it is almost time for the crowning of the Witchlight Monarch.

Derek (1:22)

Torbeck is just glad that his new found friends would never betray him.

Carlos (1:27)

And you see Mr. Witch, as he looks between all of you.

Carlos (1:32)

Well, well, well, you have done your job exactly as I had hoped, fellas.

Grant (1:38)

That's right, we followed you orders.

Derek (1:44)

You, he's, he's, you're not going anywhere after what you did to me.

Derek (1:53)

Do not stand around and weep, because Torbek is not there. Torbek is the thousand winds that...

Carlos (2:07)

You have been at the Witchlight Carnival for about five hours at this point. Though, for you, it's felt like weeks, maybe even eight weeks for all of you. Over the past hour or so, you have spent your time, three of you have spent your time leading Torbek around the carnival itself, playing games, indulging in guys' night, and overall just having a jolly good time. All the while, your friend Frost has been held up inside the wagon of Mr. Witch and Mr. Light after an interesting performance at the Big Top Extravaganza.

The last hour ended with a snail race where Gricko was able to win the title of snail race king.

It was as the jubilance died down that you found yourselves alone on the track. The lights went out, and out of the shadows emerged a group of figures. Mr. Witch among them, as his bodyguards took Torbek into their control and chose to head back to the wagon with him. You had received a letter telling you of Torbek's sordid past, that he'd been here for the entire time the carnival's been here, but his drunken antics had led to being paid multiple times, as well as the theft of a cardboard cutout named Clementine.

Theft being one of the taboos and the no-goes at the carnival or anywhere in the Feywild, and he needed to pay for his crimes. You kept him entertained while Mr. Witch and Mr. Light could figure out exactly what they'd planned to do with him. And it was at this point that Mr. Witch came to collect. And as you were standing here, you watch as Burleigh, the pixie, Riyadhah, flog, and another one of his bodyguards, which appears to look like a, I can't believe I'm saying this, appears to look like a bugbear and a clown outfit, begins to make their way off of the track with Torbeck, off into the distance, heading back towards, you imagine, the wagon. Mr. Witch thanks you for your assistance, and lets you know that when you're ready, he'll see you there. And Frost is free to go. As he turns around and walks back into the shadows, you're left alone standing here in the middle of this track. Frost, still nowhere to be seen. Torbeck, taken away to some unknown fate. What do you do?

Grant (5:10)

Hey, Gricko, is that the bugbear in the clown outfit? Is that Jerry?

Mike (5:16)

No, you mean my political archrival, Jeremus, of the hobgoblin-topia? Far worse than goblin-topia.

Rich (5:29)

Agreed.

Mike (5:29)

I have no interest in uniting with hobgoblin-topia. They can get fucked for a while, you know?

Rich (5:38)

You said a lot of crazy stuff, but that's the first thing you said that made sense.

Mike (5:43)

Yes, yes, no, the chief expert was hobgoblin-topia. Hobgoblin-surfing-turf. It's very similar to goblin-surfing-turf, except it's all a bunch of processed soybeans love.

I don't know how they eat that shit.

Grant (6:04)

Now look, what I'm saying is don't give me ideas. Just because he's dressed like a clown doesn't mean you have to kill him.