Official Average Boy Podcast #134

Jesse Florea (0:30)

Hey, podcast, I'm Jesse from Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine.

Bob Smiley (0:33)

And I'm Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy, aka the super sheepishly, surefire, salty, sports-score, and searcher of sunshine.

Jesse Florea (0:46)

Okay, well, superbly silly, yet sublimely special introduction there, AB.

Bob Smiley (0:53)

Why, thank you, Jesse. Oh, fall is here.

I love fall so much, and fall in Texas is the absolute best. The temperature has already started dropping like, you know, it's dropping like, it's dropping like bowling pins in the hands of a juggler who can't juggle.

Jesse Florea (1:14)

Wow, I was worried there for a second that you wouldn't think of something, but you pulled that off, sort of.

Bob Smiley (1:21)

Ha, thanks. In fact, I pulled it off like a sweater at a Texas July picnic.

Jesse Florea (1:26)

Ha ha, nice. Another good one.

Bob Smiley (1:29)

Thanks again. But seriously, the summer was so brutal, and not just in Texas. Jesse, it was so hot in New York, they asked the Statue of Liberty to lower her arm.

Jesse Florea (1:40)

Okay, all right. That might be going a little bit too far, AB, because, you know, girls don't sweat, they glow, and they definitely don't stink. But, you know, I'm still putting it here in the Jesse joke folder next to, let's see, it was so hot this summer that the chickens were laying hard-boiled eggs.

Bob Smiley (2:00)

Oh, that's a good one. And I don't know if we've talked about this before, but Texas summers are really hot, but not now.

Now the temperature is just below 90 It's so amazing. I feel like I should start wrapping Christmas gifts.

Jesse Florea (2:15)

Well, actually, that doesn't sound very cold.

You know what? Let's just move on. Did you say in your introduction that you were a salty sport scorer and searcher of sunshine?

Bob Smiley (2:27)

I sure did. Another thing I love about the fall is that I always try to find new sports to try out, and this fall is no exception.

Jesse Florea (2:36)

Oh, that's great. So what sport have you decided to try?

Bob Smiley (2:39)

I have no idea. I was really hoping our listeners might give me some suggestions.

Jesse Florea (2:45)

Okay, well, what sports have you done in the past?

Bob Smiley (2:49)

Oh, good award-winning question, Jesse. Okay, oh, I've done soccer.

Jesse Florea (2:56)

Oh, you know, I remember that, and I remember how you scored your first goal.

Bob Smiley (3:02)

Yeah, that was amazing, and it was the first year I ever played, so I quickly found out I was a natural at soccer.

Jesse Florea (3:08)

Well, do you want to tell that story real quick?

Bob Smiley (3:10)

Okay, sure. So I was running around the court.

Jesse Florea (3:15)

The pitch.

Bob Smiley (3:16)

The pitch?

Jesse Florea (3:17)

Yeah.

Bob Smiley (3:18)

I thought you wanted me to tell the soccer story, but okay, fine. Yeah, I guess I could tell everybody about that time I pitched a no-hitter in the baseball little league game. That was fun.

Jesse Florea (3:27)

Okay, I remember that story as well. If I remember correctly, the other team didn't show up?

Bob Smiley (3:32)

Still counts. No one ever got on base while I was pitching, so that's a no-hitter.

Jesse Florea (3:37)

Well, that is true, but I was just gently informing you that a soccer field is called a pitch, not a court.

Bob Smiley (3:46)

Oh, okay.

Well, I was holding court on the pitch when all of a sudden, I saw a kid get on my bike and ride away. So naturally, being a superhero, I started running toward him to stop the thief in action.

Jesse Florea (4:01)

But he really wasn't stealing your bike, was he?

Bob Smiley (4:04)

I was going to leave that part out, but yeah, you're right. It just looked like my bike. However, running over to him is what put me in the position to score my first goal bucket. You see, I was almost off the pitch court field thingy when I saw my parents sitting over there in the bleacher pews, and that's when I remembered, come on AB, they drove me that day, so my bike was obviously still in the garage.

Jesse Florea (4:26)

Okay. Well, as an editor, there are so many things that I want to fix in that last sentence you just said there, but keep going.

Bob Smiley (4:33)

Well, I couldn't keep going back then because I was almost out of bounds by the giant net goal thing. So I stopped and while I was standing there, the soccer ball hit me right in the back of the head.