NFL Week 4, Fastest 2 Minutes, Patriots Big Win, Eagles Hit Rock Bottom, Bryce Young Is Elite Plus Who's Back Of The Week And MLB Playoffs

Big Cat (0:00)

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

On today's Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings, we've got football, it's week four in the NFL. We're gonna recap every game, fastest two minutes. I think we finally have, for all the sickos and perverts out there, the max they've been looking for the last week because he is threatening to retire from sports, which would then make him retire from his job. He's facing that. It's been tough.

PFT Commenter (0:36)

He might be retiring from caring about sports.

Big Cat (0:38)

Yeah, we had a great Chiefs Raiders game, some awesome games, including actually Sunday football, where the Panthers look really good. And we're gonna do it all Who's Back of the Week, some baseball as well. What were you looking at me for, Hank? You're just looking at me?

The Patriots won as well?

Hank (0:57)

I wasn't.

Big Cat (0:57)

Oh.

PFT Commenter (0:58)

Are we gonna point?

Big Cat (0:58)

Your point?

Hank (1:01)

Nothing.

Big Cat (1:01)

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Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours today is Monday, October 5th, week four.

SPEAKER_5 (2:25)

Wap! Wap!

SPEAKER_6 (2:27)

Wap!

Big Cat (2:31)

PFT, did we have a game in London to start?

SPEAKER_5 (2:35)

You bl-

SPEAKER_6 (2:37)

We go to London, where Marcus Bloody Mariotta was burning the Colts at the stake, leading the Redcoats on the attack against Les Bleus, but in a touching tribute to Big Ben. The Colts, he ended up in a walking boot.

SPEAKER_5 (2:51)

Well, hi there, Marcus.

Zach (2:52)

You want to just slip your little cooties in me?

SPEAKER_5 (2:54)

Put those little Hawaiian feet inside me, like the Fables on the Beach.

SPEAKER_6 (2:59)

So in came the Greek Freak, Athon Kaliak-Manas, who hit the defense with the spinnacopa to move.

Quinton Nelson had an obsession with his running back, shoving anyone to the ground who came near his Jonathan Taylor maid. Meanwhile, Tyler Warren Zevon was a werewolf in London.

SPEAKER_5 (3:17)

A-rooo-hoo!

SPEAKER_6 (3:19)

The little old chaining guy mutilated late last week. The best play of the game came when the Kaliak-Maniac dropped back. And a whap! And a whap! And a, Brandon, I'm a coal man! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! He was rumbling, bumbling, stumbling, big man! But it wasn't enough to stave off Indy coach Carly Rae Jepson-Irsay. Hey, I just inherited you, and this is crazy, but can I listen to Playcoast Maybe, who is in writing the notebook, so that when our Commanders fans lose our brains, it will be there to remind us of how bad we were on this day. Colts, 30, Commanders, 13

Big Cat (3:56)

In Chicago, back stateside, where Ben Johnson had a case of the quarterback controversy, as people wondered all week whether it would be Keenum or Bajent. And when the Bears lined up for their first Snap Sunday, Coach said, why not both? It was ultimately Mike Tyson Bajent, who played the rest of the game, telling the Jets defense, I'll fuck you till you love me. And if you don't love me, I'll just hand the ball off to Kyle. Now here's a manungai for 146 yards and two touchdowns. As for the Jets, gee, no means no. Please don't throw that pass into the dirt, as they mustered 157 yards of offense on the day.

Such a lackluster performance has head coach Aaron Glenn Quagmire's Goodwill starting to peter out, as the Jets may be at their lowest, and he may be looking for a new gigatey very soon.

SPEAKER_6 (4:44)

Bears, 23, Jets, 12

Big Cat (4:46)

In soggy Philadelphia, Max is on the scene.

Max (4:50)

We head over to Philadelphia, where the Eagles defense and Rams offense were in a hand fight early, but it was Matthew Staff infection, who was screaming Mercer while throwing two early interceptions. Jake not so Smelliet was able to capitalize on the Rams turnover by kicking two early field goals.