NFL Stardom to Rock Bottom: Ryan Leaf on Redemption & Resilience

Ryan Leaf (0:00)

And I pick him up, and I slam him down into a chair, and there's a cameraman in the corner of the locker room, and he pivots around, and it's the viral video. And I just look like a child.

Michael Gervais (0:11)

What happens when everything you've built your identity around, talent, success, your career comes crashing down? Welcome back, or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast. I am your host, Dr. Michael Gervais, by trade and training a high-performance psychologist. Today's guest is Ryan Leaf, a man whose story is one of the most dramatic arcs in professional sports. Once the number two overall draft pick behind Peyton Manning, Ryan's NFL career unraveled under the weight of expectations, addiction, and ultimately prison. When you were 12 to early teens, how was your mental health at that point?

Ryan Leaf (0:50)

Well, we didn't know much about it, mental health or anything about mental health. In fact, it was cowboy culture, you know, and then locker rooms for sports and stuff. So, you know, kind of rub some dirt on and get back out there mentality. You are more fearful that someone may know you need help than getting the help that you need. That stigma ran rampant because I didn't want anybody to know.

Michael Gervais (1:11)

Look at what Peyton has done and then look at your arc, dramatically different. Number one and number two draft picks in the NFL. And then one goes to Hall of Fame, the other one goes to prison. In this conversation, we get real about a chip on your shoulder mentality. And the moment that changed everything. This one's about redemption, resilience and redefining success. So with that, let's jump into it with Ryan Leaf.

Ryan, I've followed you for a long time. And so, to be able to sit here with you to really understand the choices you've made, the insights you've come to develop, is a real treat.

Ryan Leaf (1:53)

Well, I appreciate it, this was a neat deal.

Michael Gervais (1:56)

Let's start with The Last Mile. So The Last Mile is the organization, you're wearing the hoodie right now. But let's just start with what that is, because I think it'll back us into your story.

Ryan Leaf (2:08)

So it was something that I had no awareness of, and I got a call from the person who was setting up guests on their podcast, and asked if I would come in and be a part of the podcast. So then I started looking into it a little bit, and I always try to find shared values in anything I do. I try not to do anything just to do it for publicity or anything like that, but something that we have actual shared values in.

Their criminal justice reform aspect of things is powerful, and what they're doing actually by placing educational programming in prisons throughout our country that teach coding, the technology aspect of things, because I was away for three years. Imagine guys who have been away for eight to 10 years, and how much technology has changed in about the job, the workforce from when you get out. Another is through the audio, visual and production side of things. So, really the kind of world that exists out there right now, you know, content and coding for technology. And so, when I found out about that, I was even more interested in then Chris and his lovely Ive Bev, who started the whole thing, knew I was going to be traveling to Montana in the summer, and they have a program in the prison that I was in. And they asked me, would I be willing to go back and talk to the guys that are in the class? And so that was a big deal, because the last time I had been there, I was a prisoner. So I was about to walk back through the doors of the place I left that was a miserable place. And that job started it. And once the executive director of the foundation got back to Bev and Chris, and they just said, this is, he can make an impact. And I felt the same way. And I felt like that driving purpose of being of service to someone else, was ever present here. And so we've really jumped in with both feet. I tend to do that sometimes to my detriment in terms of time management. But it's so purposeful to see the reaction from people that I can relate to, who at times have no hope. This person really, its main objective, it feels like, is to remove all hope.

Michael Gervais (4:29)

So there's three things I want to talk to you about. I want to talk to you about mental health. I want to talk about failure. And I want to talk about early success and how that helped inform and shape you. And so let's start with mental health first.