Near-Miss Hits: ‘80s Edition

Chris Molanphy (0:10)

Welcome to Hit Parade, a podcast of Pop Chart History from Slate Magazine. About the hits from coast to coast, I'm Chris Molanphy, chart analyst, pop critic, and writer of Slate's Why Is This Song No. 1? series on today's show. With Halloween about a month away, let's set the mood with this song, Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell.

And it is famous, or you might say infamous, for writing the coattails of Michael Jackson, who was then at the peak of his thriller popularity. That's Michael on the chorus of Somebody's Watching Me, doing a favor for Rockwell, who was the son of Barry Gordy Jr., the founder of Motown.

How popular was Somebody's Watching Me? At this moment of peak Michael-mania, it even jumped over Michael's own single, Thriller, on its way into the Top 10

According to my rules, Rockwell is a one-hit wonder. He did have a coattails hit that followed Somebody's Watching Me, called Obscene Phonecaller, which got as high as. No. 35 But we can discount that follow-up hit.

But here's the most important thing about Somebody's Watching Me. Rockwell's only major hit is a near-miss hit. Somebody's Watching Me peaked at. No. 2 on the Hot 100, stuck behind Jump by Van Halen.

And Footloose by Kenny Loggins. This is the second time this year on Hit Parade that we're doing an episode about a near-miss hit. What is a near-miss hit? Keep in mind these three numbers, 2, 11 and 41 These are the heartbreaking positions where certain songs peak, missing out on being a. No. 1 hit, a Top 10 hit or a Top 40 hit. A few months ago, we focused on the near-miss hits of the 1970s. Some hits we talked about in that episode were Sister Sledge's We Are Family, a classic written by the members of Sheik that peaked at. No. 2 in 1979

Cat Stevens' Wild World, it stalled at. No. 11, but is overwhelmingly Cat's most popular Spotify favorite over any of his later Top 10 hits.

And ZZ Top's La Grange, a. No. 41 hit whose Spotify streams nowadays beat all of ZZ Top's bigger chart hits. By the way, my thanks to our Hit Parade listenership who reminded me of the story that, due to production error, Kasey Kasem mistakenly counted down La Grange. It never actually cracked the Top 40

What makes the 1980s an even bigger decade for near-miss hits is, simply put, there are more of them, especially. No. 2 hits. 94 songs in the 80s peaked at. No. 2 on the Hot 100, versus only 80 No. 2 songs in the 70s. And many of these. No. 2s of the 80s are definitive hits. Sometimes, like Rockwell, it's their only hit. Consider Naina's only American hit, which goes by many names, but I will call it 99 Luft Balloons. It too peaked at. No. 2 in 1984

There are fewer. No. 11s and. No. 41s in the 80s. And no. No. 41 hit as immortal as Elton John's Tiny Dancer. But some are quite remarkable.

In this episode, let's walk through 80s chart history and some well-remembered. No. 2s. 11s.

And number 41 hits.

I want to thank everyone who has joined Slate Plus during Slate's ongoing fall pledge drive. We've heard from quite a few Hit Parade fans, and I want to express heartfelt gratitude from everyone here at the show. Your support means a lot, and it's helping make our show stronger, because it makes us less reliant on the unpredictable advertising market. Slate Plus memberships help us create stable, consistent funding that comes directly from the people who love the show. If you haven't joined Slate Plus yet, now is a great time to take advantage of our special limited time discount. You can join for. No. 14s. 15s. 17s. No. No. No. 21s. No. No. 21s. 21s. Hit Parade Plus, and use the promo code HIT50. As a Slate Plus member, you'll get ad-free versions of Hit Parade, and all your favorite Slate podcasts, plus unlimited reading on slate.com, and of course, The Bridge, Hit Parade's exclusive bonus episodes with Pop Chart Trivia. By the way, we'll have a new episode of The Bridge coming out next week. But to get all that, you have to be a Slate Plus member, and we want to hear from as many of you as possible before this discount expires on October 16th. So, now is a really good time to join us. That's slate.com/hitparadeplus, and the promo code HIT50. slate.com/hitparadeplus, promo code HIT50. Thanks. For those who missed our episode on near-miss hits of the 70s, let me remind you, there are still near-miss hits in 2026 Just this summer, several stars have fallen just shy on the charts. For example, Ella Langley, the country star who just set a record with her. No. 1 smash, Choosin Texas, spending 23 weeks at. No. 1 on the Hot 100 Her follow-up hit, Be Her, was supposed to go to. No. 1, but it peaked at. No. 2 on the Hot 100