MY MUM HAS YOUNG ONSET DEMENTIA… THIS IS WHAT NO ONE PREPARES YOU FOR | Love, Loss & Finding Hope

**Tiff** (0:00)
She was always very bubbly, she was always really friendly, she'd walk into a room and be confident. Yeah, she was just the life and soul of a party. What I've learned about dementia is all of the signs can be different things, which is quite uncommon for such a big disease. She's saying she didn't want to be here anymore because she'd historically suffered from depression. First thing the doctors would say was, oh, she's depressed. Then kind of made it out that mum had a bit of a drinking problem. That made me angry. If you or your brother want genetic testing, then you can. So you've just told me my mum's got dementia. You've not really told me what happens now. And you've told us we might potentially have the genetics that could have it. What the do we do now?
We didn't even get a leaflet. I went to some educational sessions after mum was diagnosed. But basically in our brain, it's a bit like Christmas tree lights. Mum had gone missing. I got home at four o'clock and mum wasn't here. And I was like, so why the are you ringing me at six o'clock? I was like, it's fine, don't worry, the police are here. And I was like, what? She almost became a little bit racist. So we just watched and she just stood there looking at this yogurt and this spoon, water infections, stuff like that. I now know what to look out for. She climbed over the back gate and I shouldn't laugh. But he went round one day and she was trying to get the husky over the back gate.
You can see she was really worried and scared. And again, I think that's when it kind of hits you that do they know more than what they let on? The whole thing that everyone says that Dementia, you're constantly grieving someone is so true. I'm like, but she's not dead, but it feels like a bit of her died. And it's like, what's going to be next? If those seven people come and it makes a difference to them, I've done something. It was like, for that moment, we just felt like we would have what we used to be.
We want 25 people to climb Kilimanjaro with us. We're trying to raise awareness and funds for dementia.

**Hana** (2:02)
Hello, and welcome to Becoming Lucy with me, Hana.

**Lucy Hodgkinson** (2:06)
And me, Lucy. So, what if one day the person you spent your childhood making sure you were safe needed you?
To keep them safe, today's story isn't just about dementia, it's about the quiet moments nobody prepares you for. The forgotten birthdays, the missed Christmas presents, the phone calls asking for directions home from roads they've driven on for years. It's about slowly watching someone you love begin to change while desperately trying to convince yourself that everything's going to be okay.

**Hana** (2:41)
Like so many families, it didn't happen overnight. The signs came slowly, easy to explain away. Maybe it was stress, maybe it was depression, maybe lockdown changed things, maybe she just needed to get out more.
Nobody wanted to believe it could be anything else.

**Lucy Hodgkinson** (2:59)
But after years of unanswered questions, one doctor changed everything. A diagnosis of young onset dementia.
A moment that finally gave Tiff and her family an answer, but also marked the beginning of an entirely new journey.

**Hana** (3:15)
Because receiving a diagnosis wasn't the end of the battle, it was the beginning.
No roadmap, no dedicated support, no one to tell them what will come next. Just a folder, some leaflets, and six months until the next appointment.

**Lucy Hodgkinson** (3:31)
So today's story is about love, it's about guilt, it's about becoming your parents' parent, it's about making impossible decisions, and it's about turning one's family's heartbreak into hope for thousands of others living with dementia.

**Hana** (3:47)
And today, Tiff is raising awareness across the UK. She's organized events for families living with dementia, she's spoken publicly about the realities of becoming a young carer, and she's preparing to climb Mount Kilimanjaro to make sure that people living with dementia and the people caring for them do not feel quite so alone.

**Lucy Hodgkinson** (4:08)
And today, you're not hearing from a doctor or a researcher or a dementia specialist, you're hearing from a daughter. This is Tiff's story.

**Hana** (4:20)
And welcome to Becoming Lucy. Hi.

**Tiff** (4:23)
That was emotional. I'm sorry. I can see you dabbing your eyes. I know.

**Hana** (4:28)
We just spoke about before we pressed record, didn't we? About, you know, you're like, I might get emotional, I might not. And obviously, as I saw you starting to sort of cry straight away, I was like, right, we're in for it.