Mourinho fury as Real lose Madrid derby while Kane breaks more records

James Richardson (0:00)

Totally Football Show, European edition.

Today, why Real have a housing crisis in the Madrid derby, and why Barcelona are moving home again. Germany, yes, we can count as Harry Kane sets another record, and Dortmund had their best start for a decade. Italy, there's Roma, Inter, and has Amorim, learnt his lesson. And France, Marseille get caught out and want to be caught out, and Niamh Rossiniere produces his latest post-game special. It's The Totally Football Show.

Monday, 21st of September. Hello there, it's a Euro Totally Football Show, and of course that means James Horncastle and Tom Williams here in the studio.

Tom Williams (0:43)

Hello, James.

James Horncastle (0:43)

Hello, Jimbo.

James Richardson (0:45)

Nice to see you both, and nice to have a little visit from Seb, who's probably come over because friends or other important things that you're doing.

Seb Stafford-Bloor (0:52)

Friends, just loads of friends, too many friends. Yeah, just coming over.

James Richardson (0:55)

Never had too many, in my opinion. Pol Ballus is a friend. Wish you were here with us, Pol.

Pol Ballus (1:01)

Yeah, I wish I was here too.

James Richardson (1:04)

Okay. So in our hearts, maybe not, but yeah.

Pol Ballus (1:07)

You're an existential statement there. I wish I was here too.

Seb Stafford-Bloor (1:11)

He actually sounded very sincere to the point where I felt a little bit sad about that.

James Horncastle (1:15)

AI Pol, speaking to listeners.

James Richardson (1:17)

Have you had a good weekend, Pol?

Pol Ballus (1:19)

I have a good weekend. I have a nice wedding. I attended to. I was actually officiating Stout Ward in England.

James Horncastle (1:25)

Oh, you were officiating?

Pol Ballus (1:27)

What? Yeah, yeah, I was doing that. You were officiating.

Seb Stafford-Bloor (1:29)

You were ordained, Pol?

Pol Ballus (1:30)

Yeah, no, because it wasn't like a religious ceremony. What were you, the linesman, I was saying?

Yeah, yeah, something like this. Yeah, what were you doing?

James Richardson (1:38)

Do you mean that you were like an usher or you played a role in the organising?

Pol Ballus (1:42)

Yeah, presenting the whole event or something like this. Yeah, just making like a speech before it, then introducing like all the... You were emceeing.

James Horncastle (1:51)

He was master of ceremony.

Pol Ballus (1:53)

Exactly, emceeing. That's a nice way to put it. Yeah, that's a nice way to put it.

James Richardson (1:56)

Wow, who got married? Did they hire you for this or do you know them?

Pol Ballus (2:02)

I mean, I wish, like now I wish they had hired me, but no, they did pay me nothing because it was my best mate from my hometown.

So yeah. Hard to ask for payment in those circumstances. Still should have got something.

James Richardson (2:16)

If you were getting married, Tom, which one of us would you have MC? I'd go Horncastle, I think.

Seb Stafford-Bloor (2:20)

Horncastle could be very smooth.

Pol Ballus (2:22)

He would be very smooth. Right.

James Richardson (2:25)

Listen, if you're getting married and you fancy having an MC, I reckon get in touch. I don't think the rates are going to be.

Seb Stafford-Bloor (2:31)

It's going to be competitive.

James Richardson (2:32)

It's going to be competitive.

Pol Ballus (2:33)

Yeah, absolutely.

Tom Williams (2:34)

Then he'll realize the fire that he has in his hands and it will be.

James Horncastle (2:38)

I would back James, although I think James would also be very good as the band front man for the year.

Pol Ballus (2:45)

Really? Yeah. But I'm not musical.

James Horncastle (2:48)

But you sing, James.

James Richardson (2:49)

No, but not you. The Horncastle sings, so that's double threat.

James Horncastle (2:53)

I don't have.

Pol Ballus (2:54)

Cost of change.

Tom Williams (2:55)

Oh, he's behind the mic.

James Horncastle (2:56)

Entertainment level, so from jazz.

Pol Ballus (2:58)

Is she right?

Tom Williams (2:59)

I don't know.

James Richardson (3:01)

Hey, why don't I get all five of us?

Tom Williams (3:04)

I mean, a barbershop quintet.

Pol Ballus (3:07)

Very Welsh.

Yeah. Yeah. Some harmonies.

James Richardson (3:12)

I'm so sorry, Tom, when we talk about singing, if you're talking about singing, you can't say fairer than Tom Williams. That's not an invitation, Tom. Anyway, we must move on.

Congratulations to the happy couple, Paul, and well done to you for playing such a part in their special day.

James Horncastle (3:28)

Was that your moment of the week?

Seb Stafford-Bloor (3:30)

It's going to be awkward if it's not.

James Richardson (3:32)

That's one match you saw.

Pol Ballus (3:34)

Yeah. I do have another one because I prepared myself. My scoring.