Most Replayed Moment: Tony Robbins Reveals The Key To A Meaningful Life

**Steven Bartlett** (0:05)
In a world of challenging meaning, where a lot of my viewers are struggling with meaning, one of the things I've noticed is that it appears, especially with the young men who you talked about earlier, it appears that more and more of them are turning to religion. And you mentioned your faith in God there. It's a really interesting phenomenon for me that I've observed in my own life. I've talked about this a few times. Certain friends of mine who were very individualistic, they were living the dream in any way that you might define it.
They had money, they had freedom, they had no boss, no dependents, no partner. And suddenly, you see their life turn into what looks like depression, a form of depression, an absence of meaning in their lives. And I wanted just to throw this out there because we are in a society that's, I think, increasingly encouraging independence. And there's upsides to independence, of course, we all understand those. But I wondered if there's sort of a double-edged sword here when we're, you kind of said earlier about making the world more about just me, me, me and I. And in a world of abundance, I imagine many more people are going to choose to make it about I, I, I, I, I, because I can. I could put a headset on, put theoretically, never leave my house. Someone could literally put, a robot puts the food in my mouth. I could have some sex robot that just gets me off.
Money comes in my account by UBI.

**Tony Robbins** (1:18)
The reason your friends got depressed, I've had this happen, I've seen this as well.
Most of my friends are older than I am. Usually for some reason I gravitated to men that were 18, 20 years my senior who are brilliant. And learning from them and seeing where they're going in their life and so forth. But I watched something like sell their company and make a billion too.
And then they were happy for like a month maybe. And they'd call me, let's go to this, go to that. And they would try to go to somebody. I got a lot of companies, got a lot of kids, I got a lot of things, right? And it's like, and eventually we all want to get back in the game, because we have six human needs. Certainty, uncertainty, because think about this, if you were certain every moment of your life, you know what someone's going to say, and I'm sure you've had this somewhat, you know what they're going to say before they're going to say it. But if you knew what someone's going to say before they're going to say it, you know what's going to happen before it's going to happen every moment of every day, in the beginning it would be cool, but after a while, what would you feel?

**Steven Bartlett** (2:10)
Bored.

**Tony Robbins** (2:10)
Out of your mind bored. So God in her infinite wisdom gave us uncertainty.
We need variety. We need surprise. So I ask people, you're going to stay in 15,000 people, and I say, how many of you love surprises? And everybody raised their hands, yeah, and I go, bullshit.
You love the surprises you want, right? The surprises you don't want, you call problems, but we need those too, right? Third need is significance. Many of you feel unique. You need to feel special. The need to feel important. Who do you think has that need?

**Steven Bartlett** (2:40)
All of us.

**Tony Robbins** (2:41)
Everyone. Now some people like Donald Trump is pretty obvious, right? And some people though, it's like, I don't want significance or I don't want to be special. That's only because they feel if they get special, they'll get attacked, right? Some people do it by earrings. Some people like tattoos in certain areas. Somebody knowing box scores about a sport more than anybody else. Some people buy their art. Some people buy the way they dress. Some people buy their money. Some people being more generous. Everyone finds a way, okay?
However, some people do it through violence.
Okay, so let me give you another seed.
Why is violence always been with us?
If I feel I'm insignificant, and this is by the way even more powerful in most men's cases because the nature of testosterone, right? Testosterone is about significance. It's about being dominant, right? So if I'm in a community and I'm driving by or I'm walking by this community, and it's a tough community, a tough environment, somebody comes up, puts a gun to my head. I've never met them in my life.
Why? Well, first of all, how certain do you think that person is you're going to respond when they put a gun to your head? Before, you may not have paid attention to them, but you're going to pay attention now. How significant are they in your life on a to 10 scale with that gun to your head? They're the most significant thing on earth. And by the way, every time it's a little different, they give variety. Anytime you meet a belief, an emotion, or a behavior meets at least three of these six needs, you will become addicted to that thought, that feeling, or that behavior. It could be a positive one or a negative one, but you will become addicted to it. So violence connects to those three.