Mormonism

Hayden (0:03)

Oh, hey, man.

David Farrier (0:04)

Hey, buddy. Hey, Hayden. How are you?

SPEAKER_3 (0:06)

I'm rea-

SPEAKER_4 (0:08)

Your credit card company is hoping you don't hear this. They're charging you 21% APR interest, making it hard to pay down your balance. A home equity loan from Rocket Mortgage could cut your interest rate by more than half. So you could wipe out your high interest credit card debt with the equity you've built in your home without touching your current mortgage rate. See how much you could save at rocketmortgage.com.

Rocket Mortgage LLC, license in 50 states. nmlsconsumeraccess.org number 3030 Call 800-4-ROCKET for full program details.

Hayden (0:37)

I'm really okay. I'm really medium. Thank you.

How's your dog? How's Alan, man? How's the smegma?

David Farrier (0:46)

Yeah, he's still got a lot of smegma. He's snoring next to me as I talk to you, and I'm thinking about keeping him.

Hayden (0:52)

Oh, God. So is it the smegma or the snoring that swayed you on that one?

David Farrier (0:57)

Some combination of the both, I think. He's just so dysfunctional.

I find him hard to give up. I've become really ingratiated to him.

Hayden (1:06)

Yeah, it's funny because you see yourself in them.

David Farrier (1:09)

On today's hit episode of Flightless Bird, we're looking at Mormons, aka the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm wondering when I say Mormons, what comes to your mind? What comes to Hayden's mind? Do you know any Mormons? Are you a Mormon? Do we have Mormons in New Zealand?

Hayden (1:23)

Am I a Mormon? Not to my knowledge. But hey, you know what? They always look happy, right? Have you ever seen a sad Mormon? I guess that's the branding, right? But it's a little bit less, like because Scientology, they always look happy, but you can tell that there's nothing going on behind the eyes.

David Farrier (1:39)

Mm, Mormons are warmer.

Hayden (1:41)

And you know what? I do have Kwams. It is a cult and the undies, the undies are a bit weird.

David Farrier (1:47)

Magic underpants.

Hayden (1:48)

But are they that much worse than other religions? They're kind of a community, right? They're mostly upstanding members of society. They're not really hurting anyone as far as I'm aware.

David Farrier (1:57)

Spoiler alert for this episode. As I delved into the Mormons, I kind of came away thinking, not so bad. I kind of like them.

Hayden (2:05)

Yeah. Brandon Flowers, the killer's guy, right?

David Farrier (2:09)

We love him.

Hayden (2:09)

He's a Mormon.

David Farrier (2:10)

He's a Mormon.

Hayden (2:11)

He writes really good song.

David Farrier (2:13)

Yeah, he does. My God.

Hayden (2:15)

Personally, I don't like the idea of being a Mormon. I probably am not that positive about it overall, but I keep coming back to the same theme in every one of these conversations. I think it really resonates with your listeners, Dave.

And that's that we're all just lost apes on a space-

SPEAKER_4 (2:33)

Oh, here we go.

David Farrier (2:33)

Now we can't go on the speech again. We're losing listeners. We're losing listeners.

SPEAKER_4 (2:38)

That is the end of it. Now I'm cutting-

Hayden (2:39)

Takes the end off.

David Farrier (2:41)

No, you know what we're going to do? We're going to do some trivia. Guess how many Mormons were in New Zealand in the last census?

Hayden (2:46)

45,000.

David Farrier (2:48)

Not bad. 54,348.

Hayden (2:50)

Crap, that's so good. That's awesome. How many in America?

David Farrier (2:54)

There are 6.8 million.

Hayden (2:55)

That's too many. There are more American Mormons than there are New Zealanders in the world. I don't like that. We're outnumbered. If the Mormons invaded us, they would win and we would be the perfect outpost for them.

David Farrier (3:09)

I'm David Farrier, a New Zealander accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick. Now, when we were touring Flightless Bird earlier this year, Rob and I ended up in Utah, the Mormon HQ of the United States. As we wandered around getting our bearings, we stumbled into the majestic architecture of Temple Square and chatted to some friendly Mormon staff who were happy to answer all our annoying questions. I also learned about other Mormon things like dirty sodas, and how in parts of the venue, I wasn't allowed to carry my beer with me. Now, we've done episodes on religions before. It's where we started way back in episode one. If you think we've already covered Mormons, no, that episode was the seventh day Adventists, not to be confused with Mormons.

And as I sipped on my dirty soda, it occurred to me that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, aka the Mormons, are basically perfect for this podcast because they're so deeply, deeply American. I'd argue there is perhaps nothing more American than being a Mormon. The religion's founder, Joseph Smith, was from Vermont publishing the Book of Mormon in 1930 An American man in America started Mormonism. So, grab the Book of Mormon and get in those magic underpants because this is the Mormons episode.