Mommy's Little Helper (from "Mother, May I Murder?")

Gillian Pensavalle (0:00)

This is where Neil is saying, all right, we know that this is a poisoning case, but he needs to keep his quote poker face to get a full confession from her.

Patrick Hinds (0:08)

But it happens. She starts confessing, and she says, Mark was the first person she killed because she quote, hated his guts. Once again, just get divorced.

Gillian Pensavalle (0:17)

Do you know how many people whose guts I hate? I can't just go out and kill them, can I?

Patrick Hinds (0:20)

Um, can I? We'll talk later.

Gillian Pensavalle (0:22)

Okay.

Patrick Hinds (0:22)

Of course not.

Gillian Pensavalle (0:24)

No. Hi, Julie Beth-Valley.

SPEAKER_5 (0:33)

Hello, Patrick Fiennes.

SPEAKER_6 (0:34)

Oh, my God.

Gillian Pensavalle (0:35)

What are we talking about today?

Patrick Hinds (0:37)

Hi. Happy Bonus Day.

SPEAKER_6 (0:38)

Happy Bonus Day, everybody.

Gillian Pensavalle (0:39)

I wore my Paula Cole shirt to really arm myself for this one.

Patrick Hinds (0:43)

Oh, I just started because it's October.

SPEAKER_7 (0:45)

Yeah.

Patrick Hinds (0:45)

This is when I start to thrive and come alive.

SPEAKER_7 (0:47)

Oh, yeah.

Patrick Hinds (0:47)

I'm wearing my clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose in honor of my most recent Friday Night Lights.

Gillian Pensavalle (0:52)

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Patrick Hinds (0:54)

What did you ask me?

Gillian Pensavalle (0:55)

What are we talking about?

SPEAKER_7 (0:55)

Right. What are we doing today?

Patrick Hinds (0:57)

Here's a brand new show for the bonus episodes. We've never covered an episode of the show before. It's called Mother, May I Murder? It's exactly what you think it is. This is season two, episode two, Mommy's Little Helper.

SPEAKER_8 (1:10)

Literally one Staudte member after the other seemed to be passing away.

SPEAKER_7 (1:15)

This family is cursed or something's going on here.

SPEAKER_4 (1:19)

There's even more horror waiting around the bend.

SPEAKER_3 (1:23)

Is it bad if you argue with your kids and tell them you'd be better off if you kill yourself?

SPEAKER_9 (1:31)

It's just unreal, except it happened right here.

SPEAKER_8 (1:34)

It just kept getting crazier and crazier.

SPEAKER_10 (1:37)

It's the perfect weapon.

SPEAKER_4 (1:39)

You can't taste it.

SPEAKER_10 (1:40)

You can't see it. You can't smell it.

Gillian Pensavalle (1:42)

Can I just tell you, I was going to text you, but I wanted to wait and do it on camera and on the audio. My jaw was on the floor.

SPEAKER_4 (1:50)

I know.

Gillian Pensavalle (1:50)

My jaw was on. I could not believe what I was watching.

Patrick Hinds (1:54)

There are other episodes that did not get selected for us because there's a lot of disgusting incestuous relationship.

It's called Mother, May I Murder? It's like there's a lot of that weird boy-mom shit.

Gillian Pensavalle (2:08)

Can we just not have sex with our kids? I would love to.

Patrick Hinds (2:11)

I don't even want to have them at all. I know.

Gillian Pensavalle (2:14)

Well, we open in Springfield, Missouri. We meet Rhonda, the nosy neighbor. I love Rhonda, but Rhonda is the definition of Mrs. Roper peeking out from behind the blinds.

Patrick Hinds (2:24)

Right.

Gillian Pensavalle (2:24)

She tells us that Springfield is an old quiet neighborhood where everyone looks out for each other.

Patrick Hinds (2:28)

The Bible Belt.

Gillian Pensavalle (2:29)

Part of the Bible Belt. We will get into that.

Patrick Hinds (2:31)

Yeah. And we learn right at the top. We're talking about the Staudte family. Either they're cursed or someone's killing everybody and there's no in between.

Gillian Pensavalle (2:39)

But the mother has no questions. No. She's the only one with no questions about it.

Patrick Hinds (2:42)

It's the best day of her life.

Gillian Pensavalle (2:43)

Totally.

Patrick Hinds (2:44)

So now it's April 8th, 2012, Easter Sunday of all days.

Gillian Pensavalle (2:48)

Best day to take out your murder plot. I mean. I think he is risen, is he not?

Patrick Hinds (2:53)

All right. That's Easter, right? When is when he goes in there?

Gillian Pensavalle (2:56)

Friday. Good Friday.

Patrick Hinds (2:57)

That's good. Well, wasn't it a good Friday?

Gillian Pensavalle (2:59)

That's a great question.

SPEAKER_4 (3:01)

It's a good Friday.

SPEAKER_6 (3:02)

Great question, girl.

Patrick Hinds (3:04)

It's like we've had better Fridays.

Gillian Pensavalle (3:06)

Maybe I'm wrong about Good Friday. Maybe a good Friday. No, Sunday is when he rises.

Patrick Hinds (3:11)

Here's a question. Palm Sunday.

Gillian Pensavalle (3:13)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Patrick Hinds (3:14)

Anything?

Gillian Pensavalle (3:15)

No, but you always know, because I know they use the palms from Palm Sunday for the ashes for Ash Wednesday. This I remember. They burn the palm fronds and then you remember, like, you know, like when you see the people walking around, that's Ash Wednesday.