Moment 172: 5 Body Language Rules To Read Anyone INSTANTLY!: Robert Greene

Steven Bartlett (0:03)

Body language, I'm going to talk about that. You said earlier, it's one of the things we can't lie about. Is there anything that you still look for in today when you're trying to read someone, their body language? Are there certain cues, is there postures?

Robert Greene (0:19)

Well, in reading non-verbal communication, it's a different form of intelligence. It's not algorithms, it's not formulaic, it's human, it's emotional, it's empathetic, it's a reading without words. It's attuning yourself to other people. So I attune myself to people's emotions, to the vibe that they give off in an overall sense, a gestalt is one thing that I like to do. So if I had to give it a word, I would say anxious, or I would have to say outgoing and extroverted, or I would have to say impatient or whatever. There's an energy that kind of defines them. It's a word and that word is not precise, but there is an overall feel that I get from a person. And then I'm always looking at specifics. It's not like I'm sitting there consciously in my head, going through a checklist. I'm just feeling certain things. And I'm feeling that the eyes are kind of dead. They're not engaging with me. And you can't put that into words, but you know the feeling. So when someone's looking at you, but they're not really looking at you, you know what that feels like, don't you? And a lot of psychopathic people, a lot of narcissists do that. So part of their face pretends to be interested in you. They are looking at you in the eye, but they're not really looking at you. They're thinking of something else. They're seeing in you what they can get out of you. They're seeing you as an object, right? Eyes are hard to lie. They tell you something. Now, actors, very skilled actors, can kind of create some of these impressions. But one thing that they can't fake is the tone in their voice. And actors will tell you that it's the hardest thing to actually consciously control.

So, the voice of a person tells you a lot about their confidence levels, tells you a lot about, you know, how just about their general emotional tone, about their character, about who they are. It's very difficult to fake. And when it's hesitant, when it's like stammering, when it's not, you know, you can kind of sense something from people's voice and it's very hard to fake. And then the smile, the smile tells you a hundred different things if you know how to read it. There's the authentic smile, which I'm not going to fake right now, but it lights up the whole face, you know, like you really feel joy. You can't fake it. Your eyes go up, your cheeks go up. Everything kind of connects together, right? The fake smile, you know, we've all seen the fake smile.

Steven Bartlett (3:16)

just when the mouth goes up from the breath of the face doesn't bother.

Robert Greene (3:19)

Steven, I really like you. You're really wonderful. You know, most of the time, most smiles are fake, but you can kind of when you see the genuine smile and you go, that's what caused the genuine smile. You should become aware of that. And then body language tells you a lot, like, is somebody when they're talking to you and you're standing up at a party, is their body kind of facing another direction while they're talking to you? Are they kind of looking out that way while they're talking to you? That means they're not really interested in you. They're not really engaged in you, right? Also, when you catch people by surprise and they don't have the time to put on a fake smile, I often tell people to do this. Like, there's somebody in your office and you don't know whether they're a snake or they're actually genuinely your friend. You suspect it could go either way. You kind of approach them from an angle, right? And you surprise them and you come up to them and they look at you. And for a second, you detect what we call a micro-expression of disdain. And then they put on the smile. That micro-expression, which scientists, psychologists have studied, lasts for like less than a second, much less than a second. You have to be able to read it. But it reveals whether they actually like you or they're totally false. They can't fake it. So if you come to straight on, they'll, oh, hi, Steven. I love it. Great to see you. They come to, oh, they kind of pretend. Then they try and act and you can get clues like that. There's so many ways to read body language. It's such a fascinating subject. I could go on for hours about it.