Moment 166: What Men (& Women) NEED To Know About The Menstrual Cycle: Dr Mindy Pelz

Steven Bartlett (0:02)

Let's get some advice, then, because I'm in a relationship, and I want to understand... I guess this goes both ways. I want my girlfriend to understand how hormones are influencing my behavior, and I want to know how hormones are influencing her behavior. What advice have you got for me?

Mindy Pelz (0:17)

Well, the first is, do you know her cycle?

Steven Bartlett (0:24)

Moving on, we're going to talk about sugar again.

Mindy Pelz (0:26)

No, no, this is too good.

Steven Bartlett (0:29)

So sugar, it's really bad, isn't it? Who's to blame?

Mindy Pelz (0:32)

No, seriously, no.

Steven Bartlett (0:33)

Tell me about your childhood.

Mindy Pelz (0:36)

No, get to know her cycle. I'm going to give you gold right now.

Steven Bartlett (0:39)

I should know, I should know.

Mindy Pelz (0:41)

Let me give you gold. Okay. So day one of her cycle, day one to day 10, she's building estrogen. First couple of days of her cycle, just let her be.

She's transitioning out of the back half of her cycle. She might be having some heavier bleeding. She's moving into that extroverted place. So the first two days, give her some space. Now day three, estrogen is starting to build. So you're going to notice she's more verbal, she's going to be more present, she might feel more outgoing, she's going to feel like she wants to connect with you. That's going to go all the way through ovulation, like in the middle of ovulation, which is about day 12, day 13, where all of a sudden estrogen is at its peak. If you have any conflict you want to resolve with her, do it between like day two and day 12 of her cycle. She's going to be so ready to handle any conflict with you.

Steven Bartlett (1:34)

Between, let me write that down, day two and day 12

Mindy Pelz (1:38)

Day two, like literally.

Steven Bartlett (1:39)

That's when I pick my battles.

Mindy Pelz (1:41)

I had a dad come to me and tell me that he was struggling to understand his teenage daughter. And I said, well, do you know her cycle? And he's like, no, I don't. I said, well, you would never ever bring a conflict to her on day 18 or 19 of her cycle. Bring it to her on day 10 And now she's going to talk to you.

Steven Bartlett (2:00)

I'm going to say something which is really embarrassing here. I know nothing about menstrual cycles. At no point in my life did anybody teach me about menstrual cycles. The only insight I have in my life to what a menstrual cycle is, is overhearing my sister when I was younger talking about it. And when I say overhearing, I mean maybe a sentence. And then maybe my girlfriend once in a while, she'll say, oh, I'm coming into my cycle or whatever. She'll say, I'm on my period. That's for most men. That's in fact, the extent of the education we have about the female reproductive menstrual cycles. So talk to me like I'm an idiot about the menstrual cycle.

Mindy Pelz (2:37)

Yeah.

Steven Bartlett (2:38)

How long is it?

Mindy Pelz (2:39)

Oh, I love this. And do you know that most women don't know?

Steven Bartlett (2:42)

Oh really?

Mindy Pelz (2:43)

So I mean, most women are ignorant to their own cycles. So it's 28 days, anywhere from 28 days to 32, every woman has a different length.

Steven Bartlett (2:50)

Okay. And what day does the period come on?

Mindy Pelz (2:52)

Day one. So the day one is the first day she bleeds.

Steven Bartlett (2:55)

Okay. Then how long that lasts for what, seven days?

Mindy Pelz (2:58)

Everyone's different, anywhere from three to seven days.

Steven Bartlett (3:00)

Okay. So you said between day two and 12 is when to pick my battles?

Mindy Pelz (3:06)

Yes. So day two, you're going to start to see her emerge a little more gregarious. She may be a little more outgoing. So I mean, as she get closer to day 12, you want to go party with her, you want to take her out, make her feel good. Like that's the time to wine and dine her.

Steven Bartlett (3:21)

Okay, cool. We'll put all the dates then and all the fights. And then after day 12, what am I doing?

Mindy Pelz (3:26)

Then after day 12, okay, so day 12 is right when she's ovulating. So you're going to have to choose your battle there. But ovulation occurs for most women between day 10 and day 15 There's a small little five-day window there. That's if this is the one I once I figured this out, I was like, why don't why don't men know this? That's when she's going to be her libido is going to be the highest.