Millions Watched Me Dance — No One Saw My Trauma I Derek Hough

Derek Hough (0:00)

There was this terror. I was a young boy and I had night terrors.

Michael Gervais (0:03)

How old were you?

Derek Hough (0:03)

I was before eight years old. And the reason why I know before eight years old is because I grew up Mormon and you get baptized when you're eight years old. And I just remember being excited to be baptized because I was excited to wash away all these things that happened to me as a young boy.

Michael Gervais (0:19)

What if I told you one of the best choreographers and dancers in the world? Learn mastery through stillness. Welcome back or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast where we dive into the minds of the world's greatest thinkers and doers. I am your host, Dr. Michael Gervais, by trade and training a high-performance psychologist. Now, the idea behind these conversations is quite simple, to sit with the extraordinaries and learn, to really learn how they work from the inside out. Now, today's conversation is with Derek Hough, Under 21's Latin World Champion, four-time Emmy Award winner, six-time Dancing with the Stars Champion, and one of the most respected dancers and choreographers on the planet.

Derek Hough (0:58)

I think this feeling of always needing to achieve something, to be successful, to win, I equated all that with love. It was like in order for me to feel love or to feel worthy of love, I had to succeed.

Michael Gervais (1:11)

So I wanted to sit with Derek here, not just because of Derek's mastery of craft, which is undeniable in the world of dance, but for his commitment to mastery of self and how he expresses that through radical honesty.

Derek Hough (1:23)

There's a moment in my life as an adult, I was experiencing some anger. I didn't quite understand where it was coming from. Who I was as a person wasn't congruent with who I wanted to become and who I wanted to be.

Michael Gervais (1:34)

Trauma, ambition, identity, healing, love, it's all in there. We explore the moment when life forced him to stop dancing, and what he found in the stillness.

Derek Hough (1:46)

Going from 1,000 miles an hour, being on tour, falling in front of thousands of people with my beautiful wife. We've just been married for three months. Then at the hospital, the doctor talking to me, just basically saying that she might not survive. You're going from the lowest of lows to then the smallest things being the highest highs. No award, no competition, no achievement could compare to the moment when she said her own name. I knew that it was her.

Michael Gervais (2:18)

I really hope you'll find meaning in this week's conversation with Derek Hough. Derek, this is a real treat. And I'll tell you why. One, I've loved your body of work. And I became familiar with it because my wife grew up as a dancer.

Derek Hough (2:36)

Amazing.

Michael Gervais (2:37)

Like when somebody is skilled at something, they see it differently. And so I'm watching you, and she's like, oh wait, but that and this. And so I got a kind of a tutorial of how special you are at what you do.

Derek Hough (2:48)

Thank you.

Michael Gervais (2:49)

And so this is a treat. Thank you, man.

Derek Hough (2:51)

It's a pleasure to be here. I'm glad you said body of work and I love your body. I thought it was gonna be a different type of interview.

Michael Gervais (2:55)

Yeah, we turned quickly. But you are fit. I won't be.

Derek Hough (2:59)

No, but it's awesome that you were talking about your wife being a dancer or having a best background as well because I feel like once you've experienced dance, once you've danced, it doesn't matter if you leave it, you haven't danced in years, there's something there. There's something that always stays with you. It's so special.

Michael Gervais (3:14)

I mean, she likes to... So I grew up surfing and I'm on record saying it's the hardest sport in the world.

Derek Hough (3:19)

Can I just tell you something? I'm not bad at... I can wake surf like all day and I cannot surf for the life of me and everybody makes fun of me. They're all my friends who surf. They're like, man, you are not good at surfing.

Michael Gervais (3:32)

That's funny because you're super athletic.

Derek Hough (3:33)

Respect to you.

Michael Gervais (3:34)

No, but so I'll say something like that and then she'll be like, you can't say that. You never danced, you know? And so she's like, she thinks it's the hardest in the world ever.