Million-Dollar Paperclips, Dead Birds & STL Ain't Bad

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements.

Megan (0:34)

Hey y'all, excuse me, this is Karla.

Moon (0:36)

You're listening to The Rizzuto Show.

Megan (0:38)

Happy birthday Rizz.

Devon (0:40)

Stay away from that McDonald's on Dorset.

Rizz (0:42)

I know, Rafe, you're gonna be heading out here in a moment?

Rafe Williams (0:47)

Headed to Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Megan (0:49)

Who you flying?

Rafe Williams (0:50)

I'm flying southwest and it's gonna be leaving on time.

Rizz (0:54)

Get ready, Rafe's on his way to the airport.

Rafe Williams (0:56)

On my way to the airport? No real ID. Will you catch me? Doubt it.

Rizz (1:01)

See?

Moon (1:01)

Check him for knives.

Rafe Williams (1:03)

We'll see.

Rizz (1:04)

You're putting it out there.

Rafe Williams (1:06)

I'm putting it out there that I'm cool and it's gonna be fine.

Rizz (1:08)

You're gonna go to your first Wolverines game, huh?

Rafe Williams (1:11)

I am. I'm excited, man. We got shows with the Squire brothers all weekend.

And because Michigan is playing so horribly, they got kicked out of prime time and to a day game. So I'm going to get to go to the Big House.

Rizz (1:30)

Oh, over 100,000.

Moon (1:31)

Oh, OK. I know it's like, isn't it the biggest or the second biggest?

Rizz (1:35)

120 something thousand, I want to say. It's huge.

Rafe Williams (1:38)

It is one of the biggest. They're playing Penn State.

Moon (1:42)

107

Rafe Williams (1:50)

Playing Penn State, by the way.

Moon (1:52)

It says it's the largest stadium in the US in the Western Hemisphere.

Rizz (1:56)

That'll be fun.

Rafe Williams (1:57)

It's big.

Moon (1:57)

Third largest stadium in the world.

Rafe Williams (2:00)

I got a sweet last minute Airbnb deal. I'm like two blocks from the stadium. Oh, great. That's good.

Rizz (2:05)

Oh, how lucky.

Rafe Williams (2:07)

And that must have been a cancellation. Must have been. They were looking to burn it. It wasn't super expensive either, because that's what all the hotels were crazy expensive. You get a travel buyout, but it's not that much.

Moon (2:16)

Where are you sitting, dude?

Rafe Williams (2:18)

Right there.

Moon (2:20)

I can see you.

Rizz (2:21)

He's got a picture of the stadium.

Rafe Williams (2:23)

All right.

Rizz (2:24)

Here's the hypothetical question.

Rafe Williams (2:25)

Okay.

Rizz (2:27)

You have one hour to hide a single paper clip anywhere in your house.

Moon (2:33)

In the house?

Rizz (2:34)

If nobody can find it, you get a million bucks. Where are you hiding it?

Rafe Williams (2:38)

Up my ass.

Rizz (2:41)

Oh, I know. It's the first place I'd look. That's true.

Rafe Williams (2:44)

Who am I hiding it from? That's a good question.

Rizz (2:47)

Your house. So people will search your house.

Lern (2:50)

For an hour? For one hour.

Rizz (2:53)

People will search your house for one hour. So it's a single paper clip.

Lern (2:59)

I know what I'm doing.

Rizz (3:01)

Here it is. Here's the single paper clip. You have to hide this somewhere in your house, and it must remain hidden for one hour.

Lern (3:08)

Can I unfold the paper clip to make it straight?

Moon (3:12)

Oh, I would say no. That's going to be, I mean, because then you can like...

Rizz (3:16)

This, I mean, as is one paper clip.

Moon (3:18)

And just so the listeners know, it's a medium. It's not one of the tiny ones, and it's certainly nowhere near large.

SPEAKER_1 (3:23)

It's like a small medium.

Lern (3:24)

It's a medium.

Rizz (3:26)

Yeah, it's your standard, right? The standard...

Lern (3:28)

Yeah, it's a standard paper clip.

SPEAKER_1 (3:30)

So here's my other question.

Lern (3:31)

It's like Clippy from Microsoft Word.

Moon (3:32)

Are you allowed, without the eyeballs, are you allowed to put it somewhere, for instance, like if you have lighting, it's like recessed lighting, can I put it up in like the lip underneath the lighting?

Rizz (3:46)

Yes, you can.

Moon (3:47)

Oh, anywhere? No one will ever find this.

Lern (3:49)

Yeah, not in an hour.

Rizz (3:51)

There will be 200 people in your house searching.

Moon (3:54)

200? Oh, did they get metal detectors? You know what, it doesn't matter.

No one will ever find it.

Rizz (4:01)

I'm saying people will be looking through your house, if they cannot find it, you get a million bucks.

Lern (4:05)

I know where I'm doing it.

Rizz (4:06)

Where are you putting it?

Lern (4:06)

I have an old, you know how we all have like the cable drawer, like a bin of cables and old remotes that don't go to anything anymore, and it's like covered with dust. I will open one of the remotes that it's the bottom of the cord bin, put it in where the batteries go, and I will hide it there.