"Michael Douglas"

Jason Bateman (0:05)

Okay, guys, I'm just walked in my mailbox. I'm going through my mail. Let's see what I got here. I got a jury notice. I'll probably toss that. I have a sweepstakes. I should probably enter that. I have a utility bill that's going to be turned off. All my lights are going to be turned off. Okay, I should probably, I'll probably toss that. And oh, what's this? Let me open this really quick. It's an all-new SmartLess right now.

Guys, guess what's coming up in a couple weeks?

Sean P. Hayes (0:50)

Yeah, yeah, I know. We got to mention, we got to mention.

Will Arnett (0:52)

Yeah, the Hollywood Bowl.

Jason Bateman (0:54)

We're gonna be at the Hollywood Bowl October 17th.

Sean P. Hayes (0:57)

And not just there, like not hanging out, actually doing a show at the Hollywood Bowl.

Michael Douglas (1:00)

We're gonna be on the stage.

Will Arnett (1:01)

Yeah, yeah, we're not.

Jason Bateman (1:02)

And if you don't have tickets yet, you go to smartless.com/live, is that right?

Michael Douglas (1:06)

Wait, what is it?

Jason Bateman (1:07)

smartless.com/live.

Michael Douglas (1:10)

Oh my gosh, that's pretty easy. And for that, they're gonna get a double guest, is that right?

Sean P. Hayes (1:15)

Yep.

Michael Douglas (1:16)

Two guests.

Sean P. Hayes (1:17)

And we got some fun surprises.

Will Arnett (1:20)

Yeah. Really?

Sean P. Hayes (1:21)

Yeah, we got some fun surprises.

Michael Douglas (1:22)

All for the price of one ticket.

Will Arnett (1:24)

Yeah, all for the price of one ticket.

Michael Douglas (1:25)

And a nice, beautiful October, October 17th, right? A fall night out there under the stars.

Sean P. Hayes (1:31)

It's gonna be gorgeous. And yeah, you buy a ticket, and you can't put a price tag on a smile.

Michael Douglas (1:37)

What a great sell. Will, you're the best. Anyway, it's gonna be a great night, hopefully as great as this next guest coming up. Guys, let's get to the episode.

Guys, I was racing out of the house to come be here on time.

Sean P. Hayes (1:54)

Yeah.

Michael Douglas (1:55)

And out of the house.

Sean P. Hayes (1:57)

Yeah, he had to go across the compound.

Will Arnett (1:59)

Oh.

Michael Douglas (1:59)

Into a separate structure.

Will Arnett (2:01)

Yeah. Sorry.

Michael Douglas (2:01)

Yeah, yeah.

Sean P. Hayes (2:03)

Golf carts. A half hour golf cart drive. Tell the listener.

Michael Douglas (2:07)

Wait, guys, everybody just shh. Oh, I thought, Will, you can keep chewing, Will. Just everyone else just stop.

Sean P. Hayes (2:16)

God.

Michael Douglas (2:18)

It's an audio show.

Sean P. Hayes (2:21)

Yeah.

Michael Douglas (2:22)

Anyway, and there in front of the window by the front door, lying on the ground is a small bird.

That had hit the window, I guess, earlier and was not yet dead, but deeply wounded, hurt. And I'm racing to you guys. I didn't have chance to stop and help. I had to call back into the house, and Amanda, I think, I hope, is tending to the young bird. But guys, I'm not good about seeing injured animals.

Sean P. Hayes (2:55)

This is the second time in five days that there's been a dead bird, a bird that was injured, remember? On Sunday, a mate came across an injured bird.

Michael Douglas (3:03)

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What's going on?

Jason Bateman (3:05)

What if that bird tonight was sitting at the dinner table and it's all wrapped in bandages and is like, hey, I'm just gonna be spending some time in your house from now on.

Michael Douglas (3:12)

And now it can speak.

Jason Bateman (3:13)

Yeah.

Michael Douglas (3:14)

Boy, that would be fantastic. Sean, I mean, I'll never forget, right?

Michigan Frog, isn't that the name of the frog?

Will Arnett (3:20)

Yeah, Michigan J. Frog. Michigan J. Frog.

Jason Bateman (3:22)

Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey.

Michael Douglas (3:24)

What was the lesson of that particular cartoon episode?

Jason Bateman (3:27)

I don't know, but every time, yeah, he said, it was somebody who, he was like, oh my God, you gotta hear my, it's like saying, I have a friend who's really funny, watch, and then they don't say anything funny. I have a frog that can sing, watch, and the frog doesn't sing around anybody else. And then he rents out Carnegie Hall, and the frog just goes, ribbit. And we're like, what?

Remember that?

Michael Douglas (3:45)

And then he got his own network, the WB.

Will Arnett (3:47)

The WB, yeah.

Sean P. Hayes (3:49)

And then he got the WB, the WWWWB, yeah.

Will Arnett (3:53)