MFM Minisode 504

Karen Kilgariff (0:16)

Hello, and welcome to My Favorite Murder.

Georgia Hardstark (0:20)

The back to school minisode.

Karen Kilgariff (0:22)

The back to school very special episode of the minisode. We're going to do just teacher adjacent stories, right?

Georgia Hardstark (0:29)

School stories, teacher stories, yes.

Karen Kilgariff (0:32)

But because we're doing this, we're also going to have a little fun with it.

Georgia Hardstark (0:37)

Last year, we reposted a bunch of teachers' wish lists so that other people could help and clear them, and everybody responded. Of course, it's the Murderino community, so they showed up and they showed out, and they cleared a ton of wish lists.

Karen Kilgariff (0:50)

So this year, we are going to join in and like double down on that. We are going to clear as many wish lists as possible by donating $10,000 to Kids in Need Foundation in the name of all our teacher murderinos, teacherinos.

Georgia Hardstark (1:05)

And Kids in Need Foundation is really great because it actually focuses on under-resourced classrooms. So that feels even better.

Karen Kilgariff (1:11)

Totally. So if you'd like to help and give a little as well and clear teachers' wish lists, we are going to be reposting them on Instagram, teachers' wish lists.

Georgia Hardstark (1:20)

Right. And so you can jump in. Our donation is like covering it so that we're not picking a favorite school.

Karen Kilgariff (1:26)

Right.

Georgia Hardstark (1:26)

And so you can join in. If you're a teacher, you can retweet your wish list. And then murderinos who did it last year have an opportunity to help out.

Karen Kilgariff (1:34)

Totally. So teachers, post your Instagram story with a link to your wish list and then tag us at My Favorite Murder. And let's have some fun with this.

And we can help out. We can help out and do something good in this fucked up world.

Georgia Hardstark (1:48)

Think of the children.

Karen Kilgariff (1:49)

Think of the children. Okay, let's get to...

Georgia Hardstark (1:52)

Okay, the subject line of this one is Most Unqualified Substitute Teacher Ever.

Hello, you wonderful ladies. Some time back you asked for hometowns about inappropriate jobs for children. Mine dates back to the early 70s, a feral time of massive discrimination, unchecked pollution and corporate disregard of safety and absolutely amazing music.

Karen Kilgariff (2:14)

That's basically it in a nutshell.

Georgia Hardstark (2:16)

There's real bad lows and then there's a couple highs. I grew up in a very small west Texas town of 5,000 people, and then in parentheses do not recommend, which at the time had two elementary schools. My father was the principal of one and the other principal was a man, I'll call Mr. Taylor because that was his name, and I'm dumb protecting incompetent men.

Karen Kilgariff (2:36)

Yay.

Georgia Hardstark (2:38)

All of a sudden, the e-mails blowing up.

Karen Kilgariff (2:40)

Love it.

Georgia Hardstark (2:41)

One morning, Mr. Taylor claiming he could not find a substitute teacher called my high school office and asked them to send me over to his elementary school for the day to fill in. Without asking any questions, the high school principal pulled me out of class and told me to go to the elementary school. Important point here, I was 16 years old.

Wow. Also important point, I did not ask any questions because I had it drilled into me from birth that I was to do whatever an adult told me to do.

Karen Kilgariff (3:09)

Totally.

Georgia Hardstark (3:10)

Very dark times.

Karen Kilgariff (3:10)

Nonsense.

Georgia Hardstark (3:12)

The internet children don't understand.

Karen Kilgariff (3:13)

No.

Georgia Hardstark (3:14)

Dutifully, I showed up at Mr. Taylor's office and he took me to a third grade classroom.

Karen Kilgariff (3:19)

This is so against the law. How old are third graders? Like nine?

Georgia Hardstark (3:23)

Yeah, the oldest, I think. Oh my God. They're still pretty young. Yeah, it's babies.

Told me the real teachers in other rooms would check on me throughout the day and left. The real teachers did not. In fact, check on me, not even once. I never saw another adult all day except for lunch when one of them casually asked, How's it going? Jesus. And walked away without waiting for me to answer. Those third graders were treated to a day of coloring, a few math problems, and me reading aloud to them from whatever books I could find in the room. Luckily, I didn't lose any children and there was no bloodshed, so I considered the day a success. When I got home that afternoon, I discovered neither of my parents had known where I was or what I was doing and responded to my telling them that their 16-year-old daughter had spent the day as a substitute teacher of small children with, That's nice. Wow. So maybe there's an aroma of trash parents in this story also.