Max Silvestri: A Joke About Hanging Out With Straight Guys

**Max Silvestri** (0:05)
Even though I am a straight dude, I am actually happy that we are not culturally in vogue right now, because I have never been comfortable hanging out with just straight guys. It makes me very nervous. I never know what to do with my hands, or like, where to look. I don't know, I know eye contact is the move, but it feels like too much is like, are we gonna kiss? You know, I don't want to give that energy off. I think I just have always been insecure that like, when I'm just with dudes, that they can tell that I'm not an alpha.
Not to brag, but I'm pretty sure I'm low-T.
The other day, I watched an episode of The Crown in the Tub, and I got so relaxed, I almost drowned to death, so who wants to fight?
Even when I was a kid, I was afraid of my guy friends. Like, my energy in middle school was, I was the sort of kid that would get invited to a sleepover, but then I would focus on impressing the mom. No, she's gonna love me. Why am I holding a bowler hat? I can't wear bowler hats, but... It'd be 11.3 at night, and I would be trying to sleep like a good boy, but all my friends would be like huddled in a circle, whispering, trying to crowdsource, like, how fingering works or whatever they were talking about. No, I've heard that there's a hatch you twist. It's like, there's not, it turns out. But then I would snap up and pull my sleep mask off and be like, uh, guys, are your swatches broken?
Pretty sure Mrs. T said lights out at 11 So we should really wrap this up. I don't want to make her mad. Just because she worked so hard at the hospital. Neal, your mom is a hero. Putting in double time there, saving lives. And yet still, she manages to make this beautiful home. Is this Chanel? All I know is I want to live in it. Look, I'm just saying, I hope your dad knows how good he's got it. I'd like to switch places with him, be your dad. Sleep with your mommy. What am I saying? Catch Max Silvestri in The Comedy Lineup. Only on Netflix.