Matt Groening

Matt Groening (0:03)

My name is Matt Groening, and I feel honored about being Conan O'Brien's friend. And why? Because, Conan, you are the Bob Hope of the 21st century.

Conan O'Brien (0:14)

Oh, my God. So I'm going to have a huge deal with Texaco.

Matt Groening (0:18)

Exactly.

Conan O'Brien (0:19)

I'm going to stick around and show business for a really long time and confuse the younger generation.

Matt Gorley (0:46)

Hey there.

Conan O'Brien (0:46)

Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend. Sona Massessian, hello. Hello. And Matt Gorley.

Matt Gorley (0:51)

Hi, boss.

Conan O'Brien (0:51)

Driving to work today, I saw so many Waymos driving around. I saw, I think in one minute, I saw six different self-driving Waymo cars zip by, criss-crossing, going this way and that. I started imagining that they were ghosts commuting.

Sona Movsesyan (1:09)

Oh, my God. I like that.

Conan O'Brien (1:10)

It made me really happy. It made me really happy because I just thought, okay, there is an afterlife, and you're a ghost, but you still have to get around Los Angeles. You have shit to do, do you know what I mean? And they have to sit in traffic, they have to stop and get gas, and man, it's costing a lot right now. Straits and formos are closed.

And so that, yeah, they're just invisible. They don't fly? No, they don't fly. Okay.

Sona Movsesyan (1:36)

Yeah. What are their ghost jobs that they're going to and from?

Conan O'Brien (1:40)

Well, I saw one, it was probably a podcaster. I saw another one who works at Lowe's. Oh, wow.

You know, in the gardening department. So, yeah, they just have jobs like anyone else. And it's funny because sometimes they get into, you know, there's a little road rage and the ghost will flip someone off, but nobody knows. And so-

SPEAKER_5 (2:01)

You were just thinking this on the way in?

Conan O'Brien (2:03)

I was thinking all of this while I was driving around and it was making me happy because then I'd see another one pass by and I'd go like, oh, there's a ghost. He looks like he's late.

SPEAKER_5 (2:10)

But they're still on their phone, so there's just a phone floating.

Conan O'Brien (2:12)

Yeah, there's a phone floating there. They're watching their phones.

They're buying shoes on the internet when they can't wear shoes. It's just sad.

Sona Movsesyan (2:20)

I was on my way to work here one time on one block. I saw Waymo and then one of those Cocoa delivery bots. And then I shit you not, an Orthodox Jewish person on a hoverboard. You know, those one-wheeled little things. Stop. All on one block.

Conan O'Brien (2:32)

But wait, if you're Orthodox Jew, you can ride a hoverboard?

Sona Movsesyan (2:36)

I think some things- I thought there was so- Oh, maybe that's a certain-

SPEAKER_5 (2:38)

That's just on the Sabbath.

Conan O'Brien (2:40)

Just on the Sabbath, you can't ride a hoverboard.

SPEAKER_5 (2:42)

Right.

Conan O'Brien (2:43)

That says that in the Old Testament. No hoverboard on the Sabbath.

SPEAKER_5 (2:49)

Yeah.

Conan O'Brien (2:50)

That's incredible.

SPEAKER_5 (2:51)

Yeah.

Conan O'Brien (2:51)

You know, those little robots, those-

Cocos. Yeah, Cocos. I'm just going to admit that whenever I see one of those, I want to hit it with a bat.

Matt Gorley (3:02)

Come on.

Conan O'Brien (3:03)

I don't have any hostility towards it, but it does look like you just want to give it a whack because it's going, it's making-

SPEAKER_5 (3:10)

He's just doing his job.

Matt Gorley (3:11)

Easy, though.

SPEAKER_5 (3:12)

Yeah, he's delivering stuff. I have a lot of-

Conan O'Brien (3:15)

Yeah, a ghost just ordered some tacos.

SPEAKER_5 (3:20)

I love those little robots. I have a lot of sympathy towards them.

Conan O'Brien (3:23)

But it can't work, does it work?

Sona Movsesyan (3:25)

I can't believe it's still going, I know.

Conan O'Brien (3:26)

I just think that it's so hard to get people to follow the social contract and not spray paint over something or not park terribly or not smash something that's nice, that's sitting out. It's very hard to get people just to follow that rule, but once you have a little tiny little robot machine going, excuse me, excuse me.

I mean, I'm a law-abiding citizen, but I want to smash that.

Sona Movsesyan (3:53)

You're not alone as the former operator of a moving trashcan. I can tell you, a lot of people's instinct was to kick that thing, not just kids.

Conan O'Brien (4:02)

Just back it up in case people aren't aware of your origin story.

Matt Gorley (4:06)