Matt Abrahams: Think Fast, Talk Smart! The Mindset That Helps Entrepreneurs Beat Speaking Anxiety | Human Behavior | YAPClassic

**Hala Taha** (0:00)
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**Matt Abrahams** (2:22)
People would rather be standing on the precipice of a 30-story building covered in snakes and spiders rather than giving a presentation. Quite frankly, I think the other 15 percent are lying. We can prepare to be spontaneous. All communication planned or spontaneous needs to be goal-driven.

**Hala Taha** (2:39)
How can we get over our nerves when we're feeling especially self-conscious?

**Matt Abrahams** (2:44)
When it comes to managing anxiety, the single best thing you can do in small talk is just be curious.

**Hala Taha** (2:52)
When we're negotiating or trying to convince even our partner of something, how should we communicate?

**Matt Abrahams** (2:57)
First and foremost, we have to-

**Hala Taha** (3:00)
Hey, YAP Gang. A lot of people think that great communicators are just born as smooth talkers. But let's be real, even the most confident person can freeze up when an unexpected question comes their way. Earlier this week, we talked about how to pitch like a pro, and today's YAPClassic builds right on that, because it's all about the one skill that makes every pitch, meeting, negotiation, and even everyday conversations better, and that's your communication skills. We're bringing back my conversation with Matt Abrahams, a Stanford professor and the author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter. If you've ever been put on the spot and felt like your words just disappear, stick around, because Matt is about to show us how to think on our feet and talk smarter no matter what gets thrown at us.
Matt, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast.

**Matt Abrahams** (3:45)
Hala, I am so excited to be here with you. Thank you.

**Hala Taha** (3:48)
I am so excited too because I'm so fascinated by communication and human behavior. They're two of my favorite topics and you are just such an incredible expert in this area. I can't wait to jump right in. We've all heard that old statistic that most people fear public speaking more than death and that's just the regular planned public speaking, but it also sounds like based on your research, that many of us also fear impromptu, spontaneous speaking even more. So, just how scary is public speaking and spontaneous speaking to the average person and why do you think that's the case?

**Matt Abrahams** (4:24)
So it is really terrifying. People would rather be standing on the precipice of a 30 story building covered in snakes and spiders rather than giving a presentation.
Up to 85% of people report feeling nervous in high stakes communication situations. Quite frankly, I think the other 15% are lying.
This is something that's just innate to being human. Those of us who study it have found it across all cultures. It tends to start around the same time. Young teens are when our anxiety around speaking in front of others really takes off. And you're right. It's not just planned communication. It's also in the moment spontaneous speaking, which if you think about it is most of our communication. So it's part of being human. We feel threatened by the opportunity to be up in front of others. Those of us who study it think it has an evolutionary origin to it. When our species was evolving, we would hang out in groups of about 150 people. And your relative status in that group meant everything. And when I say status, I don't just mean who's driving a fancy car, who has the most social media followings. I mean, access to resources like food, shelter, reproduction. So anything you did that put your status at risk would cause anxiety. And getting up in front of others was exactly that. So it is ubiquitous, yet it is something we can learn to manage.