Mark Normand: A Joke About White Culture

Mark Normand (0:05)

I think it's good to have friends of other ethnicities, other races. You learn a lot, you can have real conversations. My black friend always blows my mind. He told me recently that white people have no culture. I was like, what? I couldn't believe it. I was like, we got stuff, we got NASCAR, and Bass Pro Shop, and Kissing Dogs on the Mouth. We got New Balance, Monster Energy Drinks, Kale, Speaking to the Manager, School Shootings, Trailer Park, Hacky Sack, Banjo, Line Dancing, Bland Food, Aging Terribly. Don't Stop... That's white culture. All right. Always fascinating when a black guy says white people have no culture because black people are the best at pointing out white culture. You ever watching Shark Week with a black friend and there's some scuba guy with 10 sharks around him, your black friend's like, oh, that's some white people shit. That's just another term for white culture. Yeah, whitey's got stuff. When I was a baby, my dad taught me how to swim by throwing me in a pool. Do that to a black kid. That's a fucking homicide. That's honky shit right there. You know what else is white culture? Homoerotic behavior. I grew up with eight white dudes flicking me in the nuts, titty twister me, credit card swipe me. Try to teabag a black guy. He will shoot you in the face. That is Cracker Barrel right there, boy.

But my friend, he wouldn't let up. He's like, I'm just saying, you guys don't really contribute to society. I was like, wow, what about the inventions? Car, radio, TV, photograph, flight. He was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You didn't invent that stuff. A bunch of old white guys invented that. You can't take credit for that. All right, fair enough. Then he doubled down. Then he's like, and we would have invented that stuff if you didn't enslave us. I was like, well, I don't want to take credit.

For a bunch of stuff some old white guys did, huh? And he was like, ooh, that was slick. The way you weasel out of that and didn't take any blame, that was good. I was like, yeah, that was some white people shit.

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