Making Friends as an Adult Sucks, Dating Apps Are a Disaster & Pancakes Might Be Foreplay

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

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Today is National New Friends Day. That's right, National New Friends Day.

No thanks.

Lern (1:40)

You're right. You cut off?

Rizz (1:42)

I have enough.

Rafe (1:42)

No vacancies.

Lern (1:46)

I haven't made new friends since last year.

Rizz (1:50)

Listen, making friends as an adult is exhausting. When you're a kid, you just ask somebody if they like dinosaurs and boom, you're friends.

Now, it feels like dating.

Rafe (2:03)

Of adults making friends like kids. I like your shirt.

You want to run? You want to race me? Hey man, cool shirt. Cool, you want to race me? And then they race in the street.

Rizz (2:15)

So a recent survey found that the average American has not made a single new friend in the last five years.

SPEAKER_5 (2:22)

Holy smokes.

Rizz (2:23)

Between work, family, and just wanting to stay home in your sweatpants, who's got the energy, am I right?

SPEAKER_5 (2:28)

Yeah.

Lern (2:29)

All my friends in my life right now are down with, if we don't talk for a while, it's cool. We're in that realm and it's nice. I feel like if you're the sun and you're planets, the planets are like your friends and you know how like there's different times, like the earth acts, you know, like the, what did they call it? Orbit around the sun, like everybody's got different types of orbits around friends.

And I feel like I'm in a real good groove right now, where we don't have to check in non-stop.

Rizz (2:59)

Yeah.

Rafe (2:59)

It's too much. I feel like a planet who's been, whose moon was destroyed and has been launched out into the universe. And I'm a, I'm a rogue planet right now.

Rizz (3:11)

But does that make sense though? The average American has not made a single new friend in the last five years.

SPEAKER_5 (3:16)

I mean, I could see that.

Rafe (3:18)

That would take, it's hard to make friends in real life because you can't reduce everyone down to, you have to use nuance and get to know people. You can't just reduce them down to a Facebook comment or you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_5 (3:30)

Yeah.

Rafe (3:30)

We kind of live in that world where it takes work and effort to be friends in real life.

Rizz (3:37)

Where are adults making friends?

Lern (3:38)

Yeah, we're all just- Work? Yeah, working.

SPEAKER_5 (3:40)

Yeah, work, church.

Lern (3:41)

Thank God for work friends.

SPEAKER_5 (3:42)

Improv.

Rizz (3:44)

Yeah. I mean, for us, it's like, you know, kids activities. And that's where a lot of like our friend group comes from.

Lern (3:49)

That's what I notice. I'm always like, like, oh, how do you know Rizz and Amelia? It's like, well, our kids played-

Rizz (3:54)

Yeah, our kids went to so-and-so together. Our kids played hockey together. Our, you know, our daughters cheer together. That's a lot of adult friend groups come from their kids' activities. It's a shared, listen, it's a shared, a shared thing.

Lern (4:09)

Yeah, the last friend I made was my friend Nikki. And she was part of a client who was on this show. And then the client dropped, like, you know, after their schedule was done. And then I waited till after the schedule of the endorsement was done, because I didn't want her to think I was trying to, like, become her friend to get more money out of this client. And like a couple of months went by and I hit her up and I'm like, hey, man, like she did write your check for 50,000. She did write me a check for $50,000. Yes. But and I told her and you were very much right. It's like dating because the way I even approached it, I felt like a dude texting a chick being like, do you want to go get coffee?