Louis Tomlinson: "The Room Was Cold That Day". When The Police Knocked... I Just Knew

Louis Tomlinson (0:00)

Not really ever spoke about it in depth like this. Nothing prepares you in life for those kind of situations. But I felt like I'd failed at the time. That's the truth. And it's still something that I'm unpacking still, to be honest.

Steven Bartlett (0:15)

Louis, we spoke to your sister, Lottie, about this. Would you like to see it?

Louis Tomlinson (0:21)

Louis Tomlinson! I didn't spend my life as a young lad thinking I was gonna be a singer. Like, I grew up in a working-class town, seven of us living in a three-bed house. My mum used to work a lot of nights, she had to play dad as well, so I would have to get my sisters ready for school. So people in Doncaster didn't get those opportunities. And then the X Factor came along. I auditioned three times, the first time I failed, the second time I failed. I remember thinking, f***, this is utterly crushing, just sobbing to me mum. But she made me feel like I could do anything. So instead of running away, it was like, I know I deserve it, I know I can. So how do I relearn confidence and go for a third time?

Steven Bartlett (0:57)

When I think about what happened in the preceding five or six years, it is crazy.

Louis Tomlinson (1:02)

Yeah. And the toughest thing to deal with is just the lack of normality. And part of growing up in a working class town, I have this guilt for the success and money that I've earned. And then personal worth within the band, I really, really struggled with.

Steven Bartlett (1:14)

But you co-wrote 15 platinum singles.

Louis Tomlinson (1:17)

I wanted to do more, but mostly for me, I didn't realise the value of family time. And the more time I spent at the band, the more time I spent away from home. Like two of my sisters who are identical twins. I've never told them this, but I wasn't confident enough to tell them apart. That shows just how little I was at home.

Steven Bartlett (1:35)

And then it ends.

Louis Tomlinson (1:35)

And what was really strange was being 24 years old, realising that the only way is down from it.

Steven Bartlett (1:41)

Louis, there's so many things that happened in your life. How does a young man grieve?

Louis Tomlinson (1:46)

It's not really something I speak loads about, but I'm happy to because I cannot have that defying me.

Steven Bartlett (1:53)

The floor is yours. Just give me 30 seconds of your time. Two things I wanted to say. The first thing is a huge thank you for listening and tuning in to the show week after week. It means the world to all of us, and this really is a dream that we absolutely never had and couldn't have imagined getting to this place. But secondly, it's a dream where we feel like we're only just getting started. And if you enjoy what we do here, please join the 24% of people that listen to this podcast regularly and follow us on this app. Here's a promise I'm gonna make to you. I'm gonna do everything in my power to make this show as good as I can, now and into the future. We're gonna deliver the guests that you want me to speak to and we're gonna continue to keep doing all of the things you love about this show.

Louis, to understand you, what is the earliest context that I need?

Louis Tomlinson (2:54)

Something that played a massive role for me in my life was the fact that maybe for the first four or five years of my life, it was just me and my mom. My first proper memories are just kind of having like really kind of nice and warm and really like emotional conversations with my mom. I think something that I'm kind of proud of is that I find it easy to be emotional. I kind of like talking about my feelings and I like getting into conversation with the people about that. That was definitely something that she instilled in me from like a really young age. Something that still definitely really helps me today, especially navigating through the life like I have. Those kind of things have been able to talk about your emotions and your feelings like vitally important actually for the job that I do mentally.

Steven Bartlett (3:41)

So your father wasn't around? And your biological father left soon after you were born?

Louis Tomlinson (3:47)

Yeah, it's not really something I speak loads about, but I'm happy to. Yeah, he wasn't involved in my life at all. I've met him like three times ever.