Leanne Morgan: A Joke About Edibles

**Leanne Morgan** (0:05)
I go in that CBD store, and it smells like patchouli and Subway. And that little woman's in there, and she's a hippie-looking little woman.
I don't know why I'm doing that. Okay. Okay. She looks like one of those little women in North Carolina that likes to blow glass.
Some of you girls in Asheville, Asheville, North Carolina.
She looks like one of those little artsy women that likes to wear a clog, you know? Maybe go to a storytelling festival on the weekend. Yeah. She had hair under arms. And I thought, you know what? I get it. I'm tired too. I get it. But anyway, she said, I think I can help you. And she went and got a bag of gummies, and it had Delta 8 written on them.
No. I know. What is Delta 8? I still don't know what it is, but I do feel like if dope's right here, it must be right up under dope. And they may be sprinkled with LSD, maybe. She said, okay, this is what you're going to do. You're going to take one a night, and you got to be consistent over time with it. And I was like, okay. It scared me to death. And I got it in the car, and I thought I better not drive fast.
And I got it home, and Chuck Morgan was there, and I didn't tell him what I had done. And I went, hey.
I got it and took it back and put it in my closet, and I waited until nightfall. And I was scared to death. I took a nibble off of one, just a nibble. I didn't even take a whole one, just a nibble. And I don't know if this was in my head, but 20 minutes later, my heart was beaten out of my body. And I thought, oh my lord, I'm in AFEB. I'm in AFEB.
And I need to go to the emergency room, right now. But I thought, I didn't tell Chuck Morgan what I've done, and he's not going to know what to tell the doctor. Everything went through my head. Then I started thinking, the police are coming. The police are coming. I sat up until 2 a.m., monitoring my own heart rate. I eventually fell off to sleep, but it wasn't a good sleep. I wallowed in the band. And for all the people in the United States, wallowing means I wallowed in the band. And I, I, I wallowed. I wallowed all night in the band and dreamed horrible things. I dreamed that me and John Wayne fought Ricardo Montemond on horseback all night. I've never taken another one of those gummies. But I didn't throw them away. They're in my closet. I don't make eye contact with them. I just won't bomb. Watch Leanne Morgan, Unspeakable Things. Only on Netflix.