Laura Smyth

**Ed Gamble** (0:13)
Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the marzipan of conversation, crafting into the imitation fruits of humor and presenting in a wonderful box with some tissue paper around it. Marzipan fruits, imagine that.

**James Acaster** (0:28)
That is Ed Gamble, my name is James Ed Cassell. We own a dream restaurant and every single week, we invite a guest, ask them their favorite ever star, a main course dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week, our guest is Laura Smyth.

**Ed Gamble** (0:40)
Laura Smyth, a wonderful comedian, James.

**James Acaster** (0:42)
Fantastic comic, so funny.
Laura and I do Glastonbury every year together. It's a fallow year this year, so we won't be doing Glastonbury. So therefore, Laura's on the podcast, but get my annual dose of Laura Smyth.

**Ed Gamble** (0:56)
James can't afford to let his friendships go fallow along with the Glastonbury schedule.

**James Acaster** (1:01)
That's right. I'm very excited that Laura's coming on.

**Ed Gamble** (1:04)
You miss Glastonbury, don't you? You put a long drop in your garden because you miss it so much.

**James Acaster** (1:08)
Yeah, I do. And do a big poo in there.
And then I go and I sit in, well, I get my phone and I play my favorite bands, but I make sure that I put my phone as far away from me as possible, like several blocks away. And then I watch from really far back in my garden. I don't really have a garden, but it's fun to actually fantasize about having a long drop in my garden, actually. I feel quite fancy now.

**Ed Gamble** (1:34)
Laura is fantastic and she's on tour with her show, Born Aggy, that's in the autumn, and she's doing the Eventim Apollo, James. Well worth a visit.

**James Acaster** (1:44)
Get this though, right? We like Laura, but we will kick her out the Dream Restaurant if she picks the secret ingredient, ingredient we deem to be unacceptable. And this week, get this, the secret ingredient is?
Eggy bread, eggy bread.

**Ed Gamble** (1:57)
Born Aggy.

**James Acaster** (1:58)
Eggy bread.

**Ed Gamble** (1:59)
Born Eggy.

**James Acaster** (2:00)
So, eggy sounds like aggy, so we've done eggy bread.

**Ed Gamble** (2:02)
Eggy bread.

**James Acaster** (2:04)
Pretty good.

**Ed Gamble** (2:05)
Enjoy.

**James Acaster** (2:06)
I wonder if she'll say it.

**Ed Gamble** (2:07)
Enjoy this episode. It's the Off Menu menu of Laura Smyth. Welcome, Laura, to the Dream Restaurant.

**Laura Smyth** (2:22)
Thank you, thank you very much.

**James Acaster** (2:23)
Welcome, Laura Smyth, to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time.

**Laura Smyth** (2:27)
Yeah, indeed. Thanks for having me.

**Ed Gamble** (2:29)
Most welcome, of course.

**James Acaster** (2:31)
Thanks for coming. It's very exciting to have you here.

**Laura Smyth** (2:33)
Thank you.

**James Acaster** (2:33)
I feel like you and I only really see each other at Glastonbury each year.

**Laura Smyth** (2:37)
We do.
I love you. I love you. I'm a huge, huge fan of your comedy, but I have to say, when you and Mr Nish Kumar are DJing, it's a next level fandom.

**James Acaster** (2:48)
Thank you.

**Laura Smyth** (2:49)
It might be something to do with my altered state at Glastonbury, but you've never quite noticed me, but I'm usually at the front row going, guys, you know me.
As you mix Missy Elliott and Natalie and Brulia, and I can still have flashbacks of your mixes. I love it. I love it. And I said to Nish, I said, it's like when the geeks in the con room get the aux cord. He went, no, it's not like that. It is that.

**Ed Gamble** (3:15)
I love seeing these guys DJ. It's not enough to make me go to Glastonbury.

**James Acaster** (3:19)
Why?

**Laura Smyth** (3:20)
No, no, no.

**James Acaster** (3:20)
This guy hates it. This guy.

**Laura Smyth** (3:22)
Download, download girl.

**Ed Gamble** (3:23)
Download is great. It's the right size. It's the right bands.

**Laura Smyth** (3:28)
It's the right paving. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

**Ed Gamble** (3:30)
I'm just not interested. Glastonbury is too big, and I'm not interested in any of the bands, I'd say. Maybe three, but that's not enough for a weekend, is it? And I don't want to get into an altered state, Laura.

**Laura Smyth** (3:40)
You don't want to get into an altered state, but there's something else about Glastonbury when you play it as a comedian.
You could quite happily have your whole weekend just tucked up behind with Charlotte the Booker and her crew of hippie legends making you tea, and there's that vibe of like, I suppose I better go and watch Roger Stewart then. Yeah, go into town. I sometimes think if my whole Glastonbury was just talking nonsense with other comedians and watching Basil Brush and A. Castor and Kumar DJing, I'd go home happy.