Killer in the Walls: The Crimes of Daniel LaPlante

**Ash Kelley** (0:00)
Hey, Weirdos, I'm Elena. I'm Ash. And this is Morbid in the Burr Months.

**Alaina Urquhart** (0:21)
Happy September!
I knew what to sing this time. Last time I didn't.

**Ash Kelley** (0:30)
I feel alive.

**Alaina Urquhart** (0:33)
Oh yeah.

**Ash Kelley** (0:33)
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I feel powerful.
I feel like we put practical magic on in the studio today and just had it play.

**Alaina Urquhart** (0:43)
And it was gorgeous.

**Ash Kelley** (0:44)
Well, we did our shit.

**Alaina Urquhart** (0:46)
It's 70 degrees, barely.

**Ash Kelley** (0:48)
It's raining.

**Alaina Urquhart** (0:49)
It's gloomy. We got yummy drinks this morning. Had good breakfasts. We saw a dog.
I yelled at that dog that I loved it and that I hope it had a great fucking day.

**Ash Kelley** (1:01)
It's true.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:02)
And I'm having a great day. And we got cake because it's Caleb's birthday.

**Ash Kelley** (1:05)
It is Caleb's birthday.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:06)
Caleb of horror, soup and scream fame.

**Ash Kelley** (1:09)
Hell, yeah.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:10)
If you see him in the streets.

**Ash Kelley** (1:12)
Say happy birthday, bitch.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:13)
Belated happy birthday because his birthday is today. You missed it.

**Ash Kelley** (1:16)
Yeah. So say hope your birthday was great.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:19)
Hope your birthday was swell, big fella.

**Ash Kelley** (1:21)
Yeah. So we're going to eat cake with him when we record Scream later.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:24)
Not marble cake because it came to my attention today that the two other people in this office don't like marble cake.

**Ash Kelley** (1:31)
No, I hate marble cake.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:32)
I ordered a cake and I was like, you guys like marble, right? And they're both Aiden and Elena were like, what?

**Ash Kelley** (1:38)
Yeah.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:38)
And I thought they were fucking with me.

**Ash Kelley** (1:40)
No.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:40)
Where do you guys stand on marble cake? Let us know.

**Ash Kelley** (1:43)
I just have never liked it. I don't get it.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:47)
I think you get the best of both worlds.

**Ash Kelley** (1:48)
See, I don't.
Here's my thing. Whole ass one thing, don't half ass two.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:53)
See, I don't even feel like it's half assing.

**Ash Kelley** (1:56)
Marble cake is fully half assing both flavors.

**Alaina Urquhart** (1:58)
No, I think it's so yummy.

**Ash Kelley** (1:59)
You're never getting a full bite of one flavor. And if you are, it's usually shitty of that flavor, to be quite honest.
I've never had a marble cake where I was like, wow, this is good cake. Like it's just like, no, this is shitty.

**Alaina Urquhart** (2:13)
Please let us know where you stand.

**Ash Kelley** (2:15)
Yeah, I just don't like it.

**Alaina Urquhart** (2:16)
I fear it just from this room today that I'm in the minority.

**Ash Kelley** (2:19)
No, I think you might be in the majority. I think it's fairly beloved, but I don't know.

**Alaina Urquhart** (2:23)
I've never made a marble cake.

**Ash Kelley** (2:25)
I just assume most of my views are in the strange category. So I just could be wrong.

**Alaina Urquhart** (2:29)
Well, a lot of them are.

**Ash Kelley** (2:30)
I think a full chocolate cake is where it's at or a full vanilla cake. I mean, I'm down for both of those too. Make it like put your whole 10 toes down into that flavor.

**Alaina Urquhart** (2:41)
Here's the thing about my thick ass cake is cake. And I like all cake. I like red velvet cake. I like cookies and cream cake. I like marble. I could name you a bunch of cakes.

**Ash Kelley** (2:50)
See, I'm picky with cakes.

**Alaina Urquhart** (2:52)
Lemon cake. Oh, honey. Yeah.

**Ash Kelley** (2:54)
Make sure you're doing the cake right for me.

**Alaina Urquhart** (2:56)
Good to know. I'll never make you a marble cake on your birthday. Well. What would you do?

**Ash Kelley** (3:01)
I would be, I would eat it and thank you for it because you put time and effort into it. Wow.

**Alaina Urquhart** (3:06)
Yeah. But now I know. So that would be such a dick move. That was like a dappy move now. Here's your marble cake.

**Ash Kelley** (3:11)
That was shitty. So yeah, yay for the Burr months.

**Alaina Urquhart** (3:16)
And cake.

**Ash Kelley** (3:17)
Already decorating for Halloween. I'm already ready for it. I'm going to rewatch Widow's Bay. That's my next thing.

**Alaina Urquhart** (3:24)
I told Drew today that if he didn't get my Halloween decorations out of storage, that I would fight him to the death when I got home from work. And he said, clearly you haven't been looking at the doorbell cameras.