JRE MMA Show #58 with Brendan Schaub

Joe Rogan (0:09)

Dude, I brought you to the dark side, now you're playing quick.

Brendan Schaub (0:12)

I got my ass whooped.

Joe Rogan (0:13)

Yeah, well, you were in nd a fucking melee. There's three other dudes in there blasting, it's a one-on-one map.

That map's chaos. It's so fun though. How fun is that shit?

Brendan Schaub (0:22)

It reminds me of GoldenEye. Did you ever get into that?

Joe Rogan (0:24)

How dare you? You're using those stupid Xbox things?

Brendan Schaub (0:32)

You mean a controller?

Joe Rogan (0:33)

Mouse and keyboard is where you're at. That's why you're getting fucked up. You don't even know how to move.

Brendan Schaub (0:38)

It was hard for me to move back and forth. If it was a controller, game on.

What?

Joe Rogan (0:44)

For sure. Yeah, because nobody can move.

Yeah, if nobody can move, then you're all right. With controllers? Listen, that game's chaos. Jamie and I have been going back and forth for fucking four or five days now.

Jamie (0:54)

You'd be surprised, there are a couple guys that can compete, a few, that can compete with the mouse and keyboard.

Joe Rogan (0:59)

I wouldn't be surprised. I'm sure they can, but they have zero life and they don't even know what a pussy looks like.

Brendan Schaub (1:07)

But Quake is old school. Quake's old school, right?

Joe Rogan (1:10)

Yeah, we're on Quake 4, but there's Quake Champions that you play online. We've been playing Quake 4 because we could set it up on what's called a local area network, a LAN, and it's real easy and there's no latency. It's just direct from computer to computer.

Brendan Schaub (1:23)

It's fun.

Jamie (1:23)

I was just thinking of one guy. He's a really aggressive workout dude.

Joe Rogan (1:27)

What's that?

Jamie (1:27)

The guy that I'm thinking of. He's a video game player.

Joe Rogan (1:31)

Oh, he's really good?

Jamie (1:31)

Yeah, his name is Nick Merckx. I'm only kidding.

Joe Rogan (1:33)

I'm sure he gets pussy.

Brendan Schaub (1:34)

I'm sure he does. There's some good looking dudes.

SPEAKER_5 (1:36)

Yeah, I'm sure there are.

Joe Rogan (1:37)

I'm sure there are, but it's not fun to say.

SPEAKER_5 (1:39)

No.

Joe Rogan (1:39)

It's fun to say that they weigh four pounds.

Brendan Schaub (1:41)

You like to picture them as trolls.

Joe Rogan (1:43)

Yeah, they can't find their dick.

Brendan Schaub (1:45)

But now those kids make bank.

Joe Rogan (1:47)

They make so much money.

Brendan Schaub (1:48)

There's even hot chicks who play video games. Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan (1:50)

Well, it's a good move for hot chicks.

Like, there's hot chicks that hunt because, like, and they wear makeup and shit, full eyelashes and shit, because it brings them into that world. And then all the guys are like, hey, look at her. She likes what I like. Yeah.

Brendan Schaub (2:07)

They're like staying in front of like an endangered species with their tits out.

Joe Rogan (2:10)

Like, there's hot girls that take Muay Thai class, right? And they get all serious, angry face, don't talk to anybody, pretend they're real fighters.

Some of them are real. Some of them are not, though. Some of them get super serious.

Brendan Schaub (2:22)

That's when I whisper like this, let's relax.

Joe Rogan (2:25)

When they say, I don't like when people say, I'm going to train today. I'm like, what are you doing? You taking Pilates? Yeah, that doesn't count. Are you training? That's not training. Are you training for what? What are you training for? The apocalypse?

Are you training for some dick?

These goddamn games, they're so addictive.

Brendan Schaub (2:47)

You were like straight up addicted to them, right?

Joe Rogan (2:49)

Oh yeah, I had a real problem. Well, I kinda got a little bit of a problem now. Jamie and I have been talking back and forth, and he's up on me a little bit too. That's why I have to kick Jeff out every now and then, just so Jamie and I go one on one.

One on one, last time I fucked him up, and he quit.

Brendan Schaub (3:03)

Well, cause me and Jeff are easy prey, right?

Joe Rogan (3:06)

Jeff's not easy prey anymore. Jeff was easy prey for a little bit.

Jamie (3:10)

If I won all these games, how long do you think we'd be here playing quick?

Brendan Schaub (3:14)

True. You wouldn't get anything done.

Joe Rogan (3:15)

If you won all these games?

Brendan Schaub (3:16)

He's too competitive.

Joe Rogan (3:17)

What are you saying? You lost 13 to five because you were trying real hard? You got fucked up, son.