JRE MMA Show #46 with Ari Shaffir

Ari Shaffir (0:00)

Kelly got us.

Joe Rogan (0:01)

Three, two, one. Can you talk about that on there or no?

Ari Shaffir (0:05)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (0:06)

Yeah, what are you gonna say?

Ari Shaffir (0:07)

He got us these knives made, we went bushwhacking.

And he got this one guy who was like, I want to make you guys knives. So he made me, Joe Liston, Robert Kelly, like custom knives.

Joe Rogan (0:16)

Bushwhacking knives, huh?

Ari Shaffir (0:17)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (0:17)

Like machete-type knives?

Ari Shaffir (0:18)

He has to chop up some wood.

Joe Rogan (0:20)

Oh, what were you guys doing?

Ari Shaffir (0:22)

Camping, hiking, and then hiking like four hours to a campsite.

Joe Rogan (0:25)

Bobby Kelly loves fly fishing, right? Isn't he a big fly fisher?

Ari Shaffir (0:29)

Yeah, yeah, maybe. He likes doing shit that his body shouldn't allow him to do. Mm.

Joe Rogan (0:35)

Yeah, it's crazy. I knew him when he was skinny.

Ari Shaffir (0:38)

That's nuts. I see that video, that picture of him, the headshot, the comedy star. I'm like, that's that guy?

Joe Rogan (0:42)

Dude, he was like my size. He was like a normal-sized person.

Ari Shaffir (0:45)

It's nuts to me.

Joe Rogan (0:46)

It is nuts, yeah. When I met him, we were working together, and he lived in a home with special needs kids, and he would take care of them. He was like a counselor, some sort of a teacher, something like with special needs kids.

And he was totally normal-sized. Wow. You would see him, let me compare him to somebody.

Ari Shaffir (1:15)

He's a fat fuck now.

Joe Rogan (1:16)

I haven't seen him in a long time.

Ari Shaffir (1:18)

Let me just trash him for a minute about his being overweight.

Joe Rogan (1:20)

I'm sad, because I really like that guy. He's a sweetheart.

Ari Shaffir (1:23)

Yeah, well, enjoy him while you can.

Joe Rogan (1:26)

He has a kid too, right?

Ari Shaffir (1:27)

Yeah, he has a kid.

Joe Rogan (1:28)

Well, why is he allowing himself to eat himself to death?

Ari Shaffir (1:31)

Okay, well, I think a little bit. In the addict's mind, you don't really have it. You're not really an addict.

It's like the replacement thing is real. You gotta replace one with the other.

Joe Rogan (1:40)

What was his addict before?

Ari Shaffir (1:42)

I think coke and booze.

Joe Rogan (1:45)

Yeah, that's a thing, man. That's a real thing.

Ari Shaffir (1:48)

Every time he tries to get in shape, he does a month and then it just falls off a day and then just keeps falling off. He's fatter than ever now.

Joe Rogan (1:56)

Yeah, I saw a photo from that cruise that Burt went on with him. I was like, oh, God.

Ari Shaffir (2:01)

Yeah, they couldn't let him go anywhere but the middle of the boat, otherwise it would tip.

Joe Rogan (2:04)

That's crazy. Sharks and shit were circling?

Ari Shaffir (2:07)

Yeah, they're like, come to this side. Come to this side, Bobby. We have a chance to eat all those.

Joe Rogan (2:11)

Well, you can't be on a boat with those fucking buffets, too, man. Those buffets are brutal.

Ari Shaffir (2:16)

I gained 12 pounds in a week on the Joker's Cruise last year.

Joe Rogan (2:18)

I believe it.

Yeah, buffets are rough, man. Last time I was in Vegas, I ate that at the buffet. I mean, they're great. Jesus, I ate crepes, all kinds of shit I should never eat.

Ari Shaffir (2:30)

I'll go for thirds, sure. A small portion.

Joe Rogan (2:33)

Fried chicken and waffles.

Ari Shaffir (2:34)

And it's like your friends go, your friends go, do you wanna eat? I'm like, nah, I just ate like four hours ago. Like, well, come sit with us. And you're like, I can saw some fries.

I'll go get us some cupcakes.

No matter how rich you get, it's free. You just take whatever. You don't have to open your wallet. It's such an easy process.

Joe Rogan (2:52)

But it's right there. I could just grab it.

Ari Shaffir (2:54)

Dude, the best is these fucking Filipino and these immigrant type employees that are like, are you guys done with this? And they're like, oh yeah, I'm done. They're like, are you kidding me? This could feed my whole village, which you're throwing away.

Yeah, they have to keep their smile on their face.

Joe Rogan (3:10)

When you find out the real statistics of how much people make in certain countries, I was reading something about how much people, the average salary of a person who lives in Thailand, it's like $1,000 a month.