John Cena

**John Cena** (0:03)
My name is John Cena, and I am curiously enthusiastic about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

**Matt Gourley** (0:12)
That sounds like there's an out there, you know?

**Conan O'Brien** (0:15)
John Cena is one of those guys that's always thinking like nine moves ahead.
Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend. Sonam Avsesyan. Hello. My co-pilot. And this is a plane that has two co-pilots. Or are you a navigator? Not really quite sure.

**Matt Gourley** (0:51)
I'm that guy that sits backwards and takes a nap while you fly. Yeah, me too, I do that too. I feel like you're just one pilot. There's two of those.

**Conan O'Brien** (1:00)
Matt Gorley, good to see you. What's happening, Matt? It looks like you have a bee in your bun, and you've got something to talk about.

**Matt Gourley** (1:05)
I think there might be something you're interested in happening, not far from actually from where I live, the original Wayne Manor from the 60s Batman show is for sale.

**Conan O'Brien** (1:15)
I heard about this.
And basically, it's just the house, the mansion that was used in the exterior shot. So the 60s Batman TV show for people my generation was the formative comedy experience, and it's up for sale.

**Matt Gourley** (1:29)
For only $32 million.

**Conan O'Brien** (1:31)
That's couch cushion money.

**Matt Gourley** (1:33)
You also might know it from the Charles Bronson film St. Ives. Oh, that's where I know it from. Oh, good. Oh, okay.

**Conan O'Brien** (1:40)
Wait, $32 million? Where is it?

**Matt Gourley** (1:42)
It's in Pasadena.

**Conan O'Brien** (1:43)
That is extremely... That is such a lot of money. How much land is it?

**Matt Gourley** (1:47)
It's big. I mean, look at this, though. It's not unlike what it looks like inside the TV show Batman. Oh, really?

**Conan O'Brien** (1:54)
They actually made an attempt to...

**Matt Gourley** (1:56)
I mean, it's just a stately manor. A stately... Yeah, a stately wingman.

**Sonam Avsesyan** (1:59)
It looks like a building on the USC campus.

**Matt Gourley** (2:02)
I know there's a lot more pictures. Yeah, look at these. It has a resort pool surrounded by boulders and stuff like that.

**Sonam Avsesyan** (2:09)
Can you buy this for me, Conan?

**Matt Gourley** (2:11)
Yeah.

**Conan O'Brien** (2:11)
You know what's so funny when people... It looks like something that would be in the English countryside, but it's in LA, kind of not far from the Mexican border.

**Matt Gourley** (2:20)
I know.

**Sonam Avsesyan** (2:20)
Can you buy this for me, Conan? What's that? Can you buy it for me?

**Conan O'Brien** (2:25)
Sure.

**Matt Gourley** (2:26)
But just think of the crazy shit that probably went down here because this is right in front of the Arroyo, the Pasadena Arroyo, which is famous for being the place where Jack Parsons, Alistair Crowley, and Elron Hubbard used to go and jerk off into the dirt for their sex magic rituals.

**Sonam Avsesyan** (2:42)
What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

**Matt Gourley** (2:48)
I said what I said and that's what happened.

**Sonam Avsesyan** (2:50)
How do you know that?

**Matt Gourley** (2:51)
How does anybody know that? Did someone see them? We have a famous Pasadena lore. We have festivals celebrating.

**Conan O'Brien** (2:58)
You know what I love? There's a lot of trust involved when you say, hey Conan, I've got the intro.
And I think like, okay, Gorley says he's got it. Gorley, what's up? And you say, well, first of all, I want to use a podcast to show photos of some real estate. Nothing famous happened in this house.
It was in one exterior shop that was used again and again and again for Batman. Then you start showing interior photos, which has nothing to do with Batman. And then you use that as a segue into a couple of guys orgasming into the dirt. So no, I gave you this mighty craft. I was the pilot and the guy who sleeps and sits facing the other way said, can I take over? And I said, yes. And now we've slammed into the Himalayas.

**Sonam Avsesyan** (3:43)
Was it a circle jerk or were they jerking themselves?

**Matt Gourley** (3:47)
They were jerking into a circle in the dirt.
It was like their second. Alastair Crowley was the Satanist.

**Conan O'Brien** (3:53)
Yeah, maybe explain who people are. Because you also toss these names. I mean, I know who Alastair Crowley is, but a lot of people don't.

**Sonam Avsesyan** (3:59)
I don't know. I know who Elton Hubbard is.

**Conan O'Brien** (4:00)
So when you say like, and I'll tell you something, Baz Scalloway, Jib Mumford and Stavis McNulty used to get together. Who cares? So it was Alastair Crowley. Who else?