Jacqueline Novak

Ed Gamble (0:14)

Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the slightly inflated bag of plain snacks, bursting it open and inhaling the flavor dust of content.

James Acaster (0:25)

That's Ed Gamble, my name is James Edgast, and together we own a Dream Restaurant. Every single week, we're inviting a guest after the paper ever start to make us dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week, our guest is Jacqueline Novak.

Ed Gamble (0:37)

Brilliant comedian, James Jacqueline Novak, over from the US of A.

James Acaster (0:41)

Ooh, exciting. And you can watch Jacqueline's comedy special, Get On Your Knees on Netflix.

Ed Gamble (0:47)

Yes, you can. Jacqueline is very funny indeed, but if she says an ingredient that we have pre-agreed upon, a secret ingredient no less, we will remove her from the restaurant. And it won't be Get On Your Knees, it'll be Get Out Of Town.

James Acaster (0:58)

Yeah.

Ed Gamble (0:58)

That's how we'll have to say it, so she understands.

James Acaster (1:00)

And this week, the secret ingredient is knees.

Ed Gamble (1:04)

Get On Your Knees. So if she picks like chicken knees or something.

James Acaster (1:08)

Yeah. Chicken knees, pork knees, anything like that. Yeah.

Then out.

Ed Gamble (1:12)

Yeah.

James Acaster (1:13)

I guess if she chooses some legs, we've got to just inquire about their knees. What bit? What bit? Is this the whole leg?

Ed Gamble (1:20)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

James Acaster (1:20)

Are there knees on it? If yes, out.

Ed Gamble (1:22)

Out. You want knees, do you?

See you later.

James Acaster (1:25)

See you later. But hopefully, that won't happen.

Ed Gamble (1:27)

Get out of here as fast as your knees can carry you.

James Acaster (1:30)

The old English saying. Jacqueline won't be familiar with that.

Ed Gamble (1:33)

Yeah, she won't be familiar with that. We'll just have to remove her.

James Acaster (1:36)

But yeah, we will say that if it needs to be.

Ed Gamble (1:38)

I'm on tour at gambled.co.uk. Fresh Hell is the name of the show. Would love you to come. But enough of all that. Let's get on with this episode with the brilliant Jacqueline Novak.

Welcome, Jacqueline, to the Dream Restaurant.

James Acaster (1:59)

Welcome, Jacqueline Novak, to the Dream Restaurant. Been here for some time. Thank you.

Jacqueline Novak (2:04)

Thank you. I'm so glad to be here.

James Acaster (2:06)

How are you enjoying our country?

Jacqueline Novak (2:09)

Let's see. I'm jet lagged.

I've been on a weird schedule. I haven't been to a proper restaurant. I've only been ordering past midnight. Oh, wow. And it's not, you know, I mean, everywhere stuff is less. Even like New York, I feel like as less stuff's not as...

James Acaster (2:28)

It's not the good stuff past midnight.

Jacqueline Novak (2:30)

It's not what it once was. It's not the fantasy of all night. So I've been getting a lot of falafel.

James Acaster (2:36)

Okay.

Ed Gamble (2:37)

That's not a bad option for past midnight.

Jacqueline Novak (2:39)

Yeah, falafel, hummus, not the... I don't know. Now I'm just doing my meal from the other night, but sort of relevant, I think, right?

James Acaster (2:46)

Midnight is a new section to the podcast, midnight snack.

Ed Gamble (2:48)

Midnight snack.

Jacqueline Novak (2:50)

Do you believe in the midnight snack? I always feel like midnight meal.

James Acaster (2:53)

Oh yeah. Right?

Jacqueline Novak (2:54)

Like, what are we doing kind of? Like, let's get into it and do it proper.

James Acaster (2:58)

Do it properly.

Jacqueline Novak (2:59)

If we're gonna eat.

James Acaster (2:59)

Midnight feast. That was the thing, wasn't it? And I was obsessed when I was a kid. Oh man, I was obsessed with midnight feast. I wanted to have a midnight feast so much.

Jacqueline Novak (3:07)

Wait, is that a term?

James Acaster (3:09)

That was a thing.

Jacqueline Novak (3:10)

Now, here?

James Acaster (3:11)

Yeah. I didn't realize it was, it was specifically...

I didn't know it was just a...

Ed Gamble (3:16)

I was saying it really sounds like a medieval British thing, isn't it? Yeah.

James Acaster (3:19)

Medieval feast.

Ed Gamble (3:21)

Medieval midnight feast. Yeah.

Jacqueline Novak (3:22)

Candles.

James Acaster (3:23)

Yeah.

Jacqueline Novak (3:24)

I guess they would have to eat by candlelight anyway at night.

Ed Gamble (3:26)

Yeah. Chicken leg, that sort of stuff.

Jacqueline Novak (3:28)

Here you guys eat by candlelight always.

James Acaster (3:29)

We do. Yeah.

Jacqueline Novak (3:31)

Wet, stony walls.

James Acaster (3:32)

Yeah.

Ed Gamble (3:34)

Ghosts.

James Acaster (3:35)

You chuck the bones on a big pile in the corner. Yeah.