"I've Scanned 250,000 Brains" - Here's How Men Really Think & Fall In Love! | Dr. Daniel Amen PT 2 (Fan Fave)

Lisa Bilyeu (0:00)

Welcome back ladies to part two of this fascinating episode of Women of Impact with the world's leading brain expert, my dude, Dr. Daniel Amen. If you thought we've covered it all on brain health in part one, well, we were just getting started. Because Dr. Amen has even more beautiful, amazing nuggets of wisdom to share with us so that we can actually take better care of our brains and as a result, have healthier relationships with ourselves and with others. And so for this part of the episode, he's sharing his secrets for improving your brain health and what behaviors you should look out for in a potential partner as signs of good brain health. We also talk about the changes that happens in men's brains when they fall in love. So, my homie, you're not going crazy, you're not losing it. You're just having a brain evolution. And finally, we talk about why he says that you shouldn't actually trust your thoughts. So let's get right back into it, guys, with this episode of the amazing Dr. Amen, I'm Lisa Bilyeu and this is Women of Impact.

Daniel Amen (1:03)

So I saw this couple who failed marital therapy, some of my favorite stories. They got an F.

They went for three years, spent $25,000 and at the end of the three years, the therapist said, get divorced.

Lisa Bilyeu (1:17)

Oh God.

Daniel Amen (1:18)

And so she failed them. She gave them an F, but they didn't want to be divorced. And they got mad at her and she said, well, I know a doctor in Orange County who takes care of really difficult people. You should go see him.

And when I saw them, her brain was healthy. His was mothy. It was awful. One of the worst brains I'd ever seen. And in my mind, this drug abuse or alcoholism, but his history, I got a history on people before I see them, said never used drugs and didn't drink. But the first thing you learn about drug addicts is they lie. So in front of his wife, I'm like, is it true? You don't drink and you've never used drugs? He said, I have a lot of problems. That's not it. And I looked to the wife and I said, is he telling me the truth? She said, yeah, he doesn't drink. He's never done drugs. He's just an asshole.

But in my mind, I'm like, why does his brain look so bad?

And I'm like, where do you work? He said, I work in a furniture factory. I said, what do you do? He finished his furniture all day long. He was doing drugs. He was doing the worst drug of abuse for the brain, which is inhaling organic solvents. And so I took him out of work, put him on a rehab program, and he was no longer an asshole. Wow.

Lisa Bilyeu (2:44)

Do they stay together?

Daniel Amen (2:45)

Yeah.

Lisa Bilyeu (2:45)

Oh my God, that's amazing.

Daniel Amen (2:47)

But how do you know unless you're luck?

Right? All these couples that are struggling, no one's looking at the brain and they just think, he's got a character problem. He's narcissistic or she's borderline or whatever it is. And it's like, maybe their brains be tuned up a little bit better.

Lisa Bilyeu (3:06)

Wow, that's crazy story. So a guy's brain, I did a research and I'd love to hear your thoughts on if this is accurate or not in your thoughts on it. So I looked up, what does a man's brain look like in love from a response standpoint? And I'd love for you to maybe even break down what is actually happening. Number one, their judgment is impaired.

Daniel Amen (3:27)

Absolutely.

Las Vegas uses this principle, right? I mean, they have half naked women giving you alcohol. Your judgment's impaired, which means they're going to make a lot more money. And when you fall in love, it's just like cocaine. Actually, Helen Fisher from Rutgers University has done a number of brain imaging studies, new love. So the basal ganglia, the part of the brain that responds to dopamine, goes up and the frontal lobes go down.

Lisa Bilyeu (4:00)

Fascinating. He'll form positive memories.

Daniel Amen (4:05)

Well, memory is formed with intense emotion. It can be positive or negative. So, which is why Tom is still talking about things from your third date.

Lisa Bilyeu (4:19)

It was that good, Dr. Amen. So, you're saying, so in this circumstance, if someone's in love, it's an intense emotion, so they're going to have better memories.

Daniel Amen (4:30)

Right.

Like I remember everything about the first week of maybe in Panama. So.