Is The US Government Suppressing Bigfoot Footage?

Jason Carpenter (0:01)

Radio Smoorgie Board, today on Dead Rabbit Radio. This is the lamest intro ever. Down, down.

Or the intro, play the music.

Another episode of Dead Rabbit Radio on your host, Jason Garbiner. I'm having a great day. I hope you guys are having a great day, too. I hope you guys have some awesome plans for the weekend.

I tried recording an episode earlier. I was feeling super manic. I got maybe 40 minutes into it. Wasn't that great? Wasn't that good? And I want to give you guys good content. I don't want to give you guys just content. I want to give you good stuff.

Jason, are you still manic? No, I actually took a nap. But as I slowly wake up, I feel the mania coming back on. But someone who's never a maniac, someone who's the calmest, coolest man in town, everyone get on your feet and give it up for Jack Sanders. Oh yeah, he's running on it. He's running on it in his Fonzie jacket and his cool shorts. He has a skateboard on your leg. I thought he was running on it. He's running on the skateboard. Very, very unsafe man. Jack Sanders is our newest Patreon supporter. That is why he is going to be our captain, our pilot this episode. If you guys can't support the show financially through the Patreon or the merch store, the live streams, it's totally fine. It really is. Just helps her the word about Dead Rabbit Radio that helps out so much. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell everyone you know. Dead Rabbit Radio is your favorite paranormal show. That is how you can help the show grow. OK, Jack, let's go ahead and get this party started. I'm going to go ahead and toss you the keys to the Dead Rabbit Durgeable. Everyone climb on board this big beautiful blimp as Jack floats us out of Dead Rabbit Radio Command all the way out to the middle of a national park.

Me and Jack are sitting around a campfire tent, is pitched in the corner. It's not what I mean, not the slang term. And we're all sitting here, you're sitting there as well. You brought the marshmallows, right? Yummy. No, don't worry about the chocolate or the graham crackers. I just really like marshmallows. You know, so we're hanging out here at this campground. I was going to tell an inappropriate story. You're like, oh, just like one of your regular episodes. No, you know one of those things? I will tell it, okay? You guys are trying to get back in the blimp. No, Blimp flew away, Blimp flew away. Now you guys are camping with me. I remember I was a little kid. I must have been like sixth or seventh grade. Six, seven. And I remember one of my friends, quote unquote, friends, I like kind of knew the guy, came up to me one day. We were the same age. So we're clear, it makes it less creepy, but still disturbing. I'm sitting there, and he walked up to me, he approached me, and he goes, hey, dude, if you woke up in the middle of the night, and you butt hurt, and there was a condom next to you, would you say anything? I'm like, what? No, of course not. He goes, you want to go camping?

And I thought, wait a second, the joke is you're a gay rapist? That's not the joke, it's you, not me.

It's gross. I was like, what? And I didn't really have a reaction, but I just kind of shook my head. He had his little camping gear, he had on his backpack, he had his tent ready to go. What type of sicko tells that, here's the thing, if you're just telling that joke to your adult buddies, it's already a little inappropriate. Your adult buddies might be like, what are you talking about, dude? You're camping with them right now. But a kid telling that to another kid, like I get it, he probably thought it was funny, but I don't think he understood that he wanted to have gay butt sex with me, and I wasn't going to tell anybody. Like, I don't think he understood that he was implying he was a gay rapist.

As much as I'm laughing about it now, it's because it was such a bizarre joke. Like, I remember thinking, like, that's not, that, you're the butt of that joke. No pun intended, no pun intended at all. I'm assuming he heard it from an older brother or an uncle or something like that, and they all laughed, and he repeated it. He probably knew it was a dirty joke, and he probably understood the connotations that it was going to involve hot, steamy, man-on-man sex. But not, like, first of all, I'm not going to say you're wrong, right? And secondly, you're a gay rapist, if you tell that joke. I remember thinking, what a bizarre joke. What a weirdo joke. But anyways, I tell that story. You guys are definitely coming up with a plan to escape the campfire. You're like, I don't think that was a joke. I think that was a warning. I think Jason was doing a little thing called foreshadowing. No, I'm not a gay rapist. We're hanging out at this campsite, me, you and Jack. It's morning. You're like, oh, looking around, you're like, OK, my butt doesn't hurt, Jack, how's your butt? He's like, thumbs up. And I wasn't going to do anything to you guys. But anyways, we spent the night camping together. Now it's like five in the morning, right? The sun's just crusting over the horizon. And I'm like, get your gear, get your gear, get your gear. We're going Bigfoot hunting. You're like, oh, OK, that makes a little more sense of why Paranormal Podcast is in the middle of the woods all alone. He also told us to tell our loved ones nothing. We weren't supposed to say where we were going on this trip. We're trudging through this national forest. We don't have guns. We're not actually hunting Bigfoot like he's big game. We're equipped with the latest and greatest surveillance technology. Video cameras, like, but high end video cameras, right? Video cameras, regular cameras, telescopes, probably. Binoculars, probably be more. You're bumping into the trees as you're turning around with a big giant telescope. But eventually, we were walking around for like days and days and days, days and days, because, you know, Bigfoot's hard to find, right? But eventually, we're sitting down to take a break, we're eating cans of beans, Denison's chili. Wow, it's so good. I love Denison's. We're eating, like, you know what? We love to be a sponsor of the show. But the previous four minutes of gay rape jokes It just made us decide to go with another podcast. We're eating delicious Denison Beans, the food of all good campers, non-rapists. We're eating the denizens' beans, and all of a sudden we hear a, ugh.