Is a Horse Girl or a Linux Guy More Insufferable [NIGEL Edition] - Safety Third 177

Kevin (0:01)

Whoa, we're going live.

William Osman (0:06)

Oh, Kevin, they're gonna kill your dogs.

Kevin (0:09)

No.

William Osman (0:10)

They're gonna do it.

Kevin (0:11)

Did they give us any notice at least? Like how many days before they kill my dogs?

William Osman (0:15)

Ten days. They said that if we don't... Dude, fuck, I hate this. I hate this planet that we live on.

Yeah, so fire department, we're gonna kill Kevin's dogs if we don't clean. We already cleaned, but then they came now, and it's a new guy, and he's like, you didn't clean enough. And I was like, what do you mean I didn't clean enough? And he pulls out his fucking range finder.

Kevin (0:37)

Range finder, man.

William Osman (0:38)

Yeah, he pulls his range finder out. And I was like, oh fuck. And you know what he said to me later? I was trying to be so respectful. I could barely hold it in. He was like, well, they're not gonna come out with like tape measures and shit. And I almost fucking said it. I was like, well, you brought your range finder.

Nigel (0:50)

Yeah.

William Osman (0:51)

And you know, like you gotta trim trees to like six feet. You gotta trim all the branches to six feet.

Nigel (0:56)

Yeah.

William Osman (0:57)

But then at some point, they realized that was fucking stupid. And so they changed to six feet or like one third of the height because there's several trees here that if you trim them to six feet, it's just gonna look like a penis little puffball up top.

Kevin (1:08)

Just the tip. Yeah.

William Osman (1:10)

And like, I was like, what about all the native plants? And he's just like, oh, they're fire hazard. They got to go. And he's like, all right. So we're gonna have to like...

Kevin (1:20)

Yeah. And then you look up at the mountain behind us covered in dead dry, like giant bushes.

William Osman (1:25)

Oh, and like, you know what? I love the government and I'm being completely sarcastic and facetious right now. I fucking hate it. And there's like a drainage easement that like collapsed, right?

Kevin (1:39)

Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about.

William Osman (1:41)

Yeah, there's like this whole concrete drainage thing that has like a roof or like a lid on it, and the whole thing collapsed and it like sat there. And I was just like, you know what? I'm not, I don't want to deal with this. And so then like a couple months later, there's like a crew building a fence around it. So like basically it's like the sidewalk and then there's the weed farm that we run. I'm sorry, that's not, it's the shrub, not marijuana. How do I say that? That sounded way cooler than it actually is.

And they just fence it off. There's like, there's literally a fence that goes into like, it's like a rectangle along the sidewalk.

Kevin (2:17)

Yeah.

William Osman (2:17)

It's like blocked off and it's a collapsed drainage.

Kevin (2:22)

Eight foot deep, like sinkhole pit.

William Osman (2:24)

And it's completely like overgrown with shrubs.

Kevin (2:27)

Yeah. And it's been there for three years now. Years.

William Osman (2:29)

And like, oh, so nobody fucking cares about the shrubs here because it's like the city's problem.

Kevin (2:34)

Yeah.

William Osman (2:35)

Like, oh, for me, I've got like, I didn't trim enough away, like a hundred feet from houses, dude.

Kevin (2:41)

So he's like, oh, you got to go an extra 20 feet. Yeah.

William Osman (2:44)

So he like whips out. So like, I hired a gardening crew, right? And I'm like, we're cheap and poor because we spend all our money on open sauce. And so, like, for the past couple of years, I've like worked for the fire department. Then we like, I hired a crew. And like this year, I spent like twenty four hundred dollars for like a weekend. Yeah. And they basically weed whack everything, which the fire department calls a weed whip, which I think is cringe. And they like, you know, we trimmed it into trees and then they like throw all the debris just into the into the weed farm, right? Because like, why the fuck would I pay money to have the debris like hauled off somewhere when you could just like throw it in a fucking pile?

And and now it's like, oh, the rules have changed. Pray I changed them no farther.

And and now it's like, you got to do that. And I would just this point, I was like, and that was just a few months ago. Yes. Like, so you know, the most part of the whole thing, right? It's like this is due in like May or the end of May, beginning of June. And so we did it in May. And I get a letter in July that's like, we're going to kill Kevin's dog. And I'm like, fuck, there's only one person.