Introducing...Careless

Ashley John-Baptiste (0:01)

Think back, if you can, to your very earliest memory. You might be able to picture where you were, what you were like, who was around you at the time.

Try and hold that memory for a moment. Do you actually remember it? Or could it be something your mom or dad told you about? Many people who grew up in care probably won't have that memory. There are no consistent witnesses to their childhood.

Nkechi Simms (0:29)

It was really fun being cheeky and crazy, but growing up in Camden was difficult because I also found myself in a lot of trouble.

Ashley John-Baptiste (0:38)

Nkechi Simms went into foster care aged 12

Nkechi Simms (0:42)

There was a black taxi called and me and my social worker got in the cab and my mom handed over a Sainsbury's bag for life.

Ashley John-Baptiste (0:52)

She's 27 now and a successful actor who is in one of the UK's most popular TV shows.

Nkechi Simms (0:58)

I was cast in Top Boy, so it all worked out for the better, really.

Ashley John-Baptiste (1:04)

But for all of Nkechi's success, for the last six years, there has been a humming sound wearing away in the back of her mind, questions about her past, what happens to her and why.

SPEAKER_3 (1:21)

Good morning, this is a contact, Camden. How can I help you today?

Nkechi Simms (1:25)

Hi, basically, I'm just trying to find somebody I can speak to about trying to retrieve all of my records.

Ashley John-Baptiste (1:33)

Records which hold the answers to her questions.

Nkechi Simms (1:38)

Someone's going to sit in that office and read through every crappy, personal detail of my life, decide what I get to see, and I'm just supposed to wait.

SPEAKER_4 (1:46)

She needs to go bananas with the people at the other end. She needs to be playing Holy Hell.

SPEAKER_3 (1:52)

You've walked me through a horror story. It's a horror story that so many children who are taken into care by the state experience.

Nkechi Simms (2:02)

There's a tick box here that says, parent or carer loves the child unconditionally, i.e. without strings attached.

Ashley John-Baptiste (2:10)

And is it always better to know the truth?

SPEAKER_5 (2:13)

It's just heartbreaking. I don't really know the word for it. I feel heartbroken for myself. I feel heartbroken for like my family.

Ashley John-Baptiste (2:23)

I'm Ashley John-Baptiste. From The Observer and Tortoise Investigates, this is Careless, a story about memory, a faceless parent and what we're entitled to know about ourselves.

SPEAKER_5 (2:36)

They knew I was being exploited. If people knew then they should have done something.

Ashley John-Baptiste (2:45)

Careless is released on Tuesday 22nd September to get early and ad-free access to episodes when the series launches. You can subscribe today wherever you're listening. You can also subscribe directly on our website at observer.co.uk/subscribe and use the code AUDIO50 for 50% off.