"I'm A Sex Coach For Men & In Private They ALL Confess The Same Secret…" | Caitlin V PT 1

**SPEAKER_1** (0:01)
Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:08)
My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana to us a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast.
An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees, may I buy?

**Lisa Bilyeu** (0:31)
What up, ladies? This is Lisa Bilyeu, and you are listening to an episode of Women of Impact. And today, we're just cutting through the noise, because women are told from day one that our job is to be completely desirable, to be sexy, to be wanted, to be magnetic, and God forbid, we've also got to be absolutely good and on the right track. But here is what nobody's telling us except for today's guest.
While we're busy sucking in the stomachs trying to buy this lingerie to look sexy, men are actually over on the other side wanting something completely different. So if you're tired of performing or carrying the weight of someone else's expectations inside and outside the bedroom, then this episode is for you and you just can't afford to miss it. Because today we're not just talking about sex, we're getting into the actual desires and fantasies that drive both men and women so that you can get what you want and yes, he can actually get what he wants and how to actually get unstuck from autopilot. So today, I'm sitting down with the certified sex and intimacy coach, expert Caitlin V. Guys, she's mind-blowingly phenomenal. She's counseled thousands of men. She's heard every freaking secret behind the scenes, every single fantasy, every hidden shame that men share with her. And now she's here today, spilling the tea for all of us ladies.
And we go full force into women's archetypal fantasies, whether we want to admit it or not, what their secret is saying about our needs and how our partner, the guy, can actually meet them, what we say, how we approach it. She gives us the script, so you gotta stay for that. We also then go into the Five Sexual Blueprint. This is a game changer for your sex life, guys. This is aka the real roadmap to what actually turns you on, what actually turns him on and how you take the pleasure from to damn mind-blowing. These are your blueprints you've been waiting for. And then we go into men's archetypal fantasies and how these scripts are actually shaking, what our relationship actually ends up looking like. And it's way more and way different than you ever expected, so stay tuned for that. And damn, that's just part one. So if you're just done being cast as someone else's fantasy and ready to actually freaking take the lead, and not just gets excited about the fantasies and desires, but actually be able to communicate them with your partner, not feel like you're hiding or shaming anything, and vice versa, this is one of those moments where he's finally going to be able to come clean, because we have the scripts to set that situation up for success. Guys, this is where we rip up the old damn wall book that led us completely astray, to make sure that you stay tuned because this episode with Caitlin V is about to change everything.
As a sex expert and intimacy coach for over a decade, you've counseled thousands of men. So today, you're taking us women behind the curtain and revealing what do men confess to you about their fantasies that they'd never dare admit to us women.

**Caitlin V** (3:35)
The biggest thing that men confess to me behind the scenes is how much they want to feel desired.
Which is actually so much softer and gentler than what I think most of us are expecting for thinking like, no, it's actually that they really want to feel desired. But it is seen as immasculine to want to be desired. Like that's something that's in the purview of women. We get to feel desired. That's our job, actually. In fact, it's like a crushing job for us. Actually, men really desperately want to feel desired. And feeling desired confirms for them a whole lot of things. Like they're worthy, that they're valuable, that they're wanted. And so the number one confession that they have is really this desire to be desired.

**Lisa Bilyeu** (4:16)
And we women don't normally desire men?

**Caitlin V** (4:19)
I think that we're not as outward and clear on our desire. We've been conditioned that it's not our job to display desire, it's our job to be desirable. And so flipping that script can feel like work, it can feel like a burden on us. Like what do you mean? Okay, in addition to all these other things, I have to be sexy and then I have to make you feel wanted as well. That feels like an undue amount of effort that we have to go through as well. And so if we're not conscious of how that energy moves in both directions, then we can end up in a situation where we're resentful of our guy for wanting this from us, but maybe he's not actually articulating it because it's too fraught or too shameful for him to say it out loud.