If Someone You Love Is Having a Hard Time, Listen to This

**Mel Robbins** (0:00)
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast.
One of the hardest things in life is to watch somebody that you care about going through a really hard time. And I don't know about you, but in those moments, I step in and I attempt to help and make things better and then of course what happens? My attempt to help just makes things worse.
You know, you want to help your kid, but they just barricade themselves in their room. Your partner is depressed, your friend is drinking too much, you're worried, you ask questions. Because you're anxious about it, you give advice, because you can see how this might turn into some disaster. I used to do that too, but oftentimes I wasn't helping.
In fact, I was making things worse, which is why today I've asked one of the world's leading psychologists to teach you and me how to help someone you love without panicking, controlling, turning the situation into a fight, or making the situation even worse. You're going to learn the exact words to use when someone shuts down, pushes you away, or is making choices that truly scare you. This episode is an extraordinary resource for you, because I know you want to be supportive. I know you want to see this person who's struggling truly thrive, and what you're about to learn today will show you exactly how to do that.
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Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast. I'm really excited that you're here with me today. It's always an honor to be together and to spend this time with you. And if you're a new listener, or you're here because somebody shared this with you, I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to The Mel Robbins Podcast family. Today, we are going to talk about three questions to ask when someone you love is struggling. And one of the reasons why I wanted to share this conversation with you is because for the past several months, someone in my life has been really struggling, and my husband Chris and I, we have been really worried about them. So about a week ago, I went digging back through our library of episodes. And I looked at over 400 episodes, and I found this particular interview that I've never forgotten. It's one that I did with clinical psychologist, Dr. Lisa Damour. In it, she talks about three questions you need to ask somebody in your life that's struggling. And these are questions that really give you a roadmap for how to truly offer support that helps. Now, my husband and I listened to this a couple days ago, and we found it so incredibly helpful in guiding us in how to provide support that's effective for this person that we love who's struggling. And after I was done listening, I thought, you know what? I should really share this with you. Because I bet you have somebody in your life who's struggling too. So, let me tell you a little bit about this extraordinary expert that you're about to spend some time with. Her name is Dr. Lisa Damour. She's a clinical psychologist, three-time New York Times bestselling author of the books Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. Dr. Damour hosts the Ask Lisa Podcast. She works in collaboration with UNICEF, is a regular contributor to CBS News. She served as a consultant to Pixar on the movie Inside Out 2 She's also a senior advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University. And today, she is here teaching you the three questions that you should ask anyone in your life who is struggling. I truly hope you will not only enjoy listening to this episode from our archives, I hope it's helpful. When my husband and I listened to this a few days ago, it was exactly the support and the three questions that we needed, so we can help the person that we love who's struggling right now.