I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE… | Surviving a Violent Attack Abroad, PTSD & Learning to Feel Safe Again

**Charly** (0:00)
I just loved it, I was just literally living the dream. I'd chat to anyone, get on with anyone, kind of life and soul, kind of zest for life type person. I had one, maybe two beers. It was only like a 10 minute walk. There was a car coming towards me, and it sort of turned in the road, and then started trailing along next to me, and they were just sort of shouting, shouting, shouting. Then they kept driving and pulled up. There was just basically just dark building sort of down the side of the roads. The driver got out and started walking towards me. I was like, all of these options are bad. I don't, oh my god, I don't know what to do. But the sinking feeling was enough to trigger enough fear.
He started speaking, didn't understand him at all.

**Lucy** (0:44)
Do your instincts go, right, is this robbery? Is this sexual assault? Are they just trying to frighten me? Is it something worse?

**Charly** (0:52)
I feel like my brain was literally going, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Just over and over again, I wasn't really thinking of what is this? It was just, oh my god, I think I thought I could reason with him, because if I just peed enough, then he'll go.
He said something, no idea what, and then lunged at me. I've got my phone out my bag whilst I was running, and just pressed dial on the last person I'd called. God bless him, heard the whole thing. They literally just drove through it or swerved. They would not give up. I'm gonna die.

**Lucy** (1:23)
How many were on you?

**Charly** (1:24)
Five. Five men, yeah.

**Hana** (1:27)
Five.

**Lucy** (1:28)
But what shocked us was the response from the police. So, can you talk about that?

**Charly** (1:35)
Yes.

**Hana** (1:45)
Hello, and welcome to Becoming Lucy with me, Hana.

**Lucy** (1:50)
And me, Lucy.
So, what if one night could change the way you move through the world forever? Today's guest was living her dream. She was a successful entertainer, working overseas, managing teams across Spain, the Canary Islands, and building a life that she loved. She was confident, independent, adventurous, the kind of person who lit up every room that she walked into. But one night, a 10-minute walk home changed everything.

**Hana** (2:23)
After being attacked by a group of men, Charly was left not only with physical injuries, but fear, anxiety and trauma that would follow her for more than a decade.
But what's surprising is that it wasn't actually the attack itself, it's what happened afterwards. The panic attacks, the fear of being alone, the way her world slowly became smaller, and the fact that she became so good at pretending she was okay, she didn't even realize she was doing it.

**Lucy** (2:53)
And what happens when you survive something horrific, but no one teaches you how to heal?
When the breezes disappear, but the fear doesn't. In this episode, we talk about trauma, the panic attacks, masking pain behind the smile, and the journey back to becoming yourself after the world no longer feels safe. And this is going to be Charly's story.

**Hana** (3:17)
Welcome to Becoming Lucy, Charly. Hi, thanks for having me.

**Charly** (3:21)
That was bad, hearing it summed up like that. Don't cry at the start. Cry.

**Hana** (3:30)
Well, before we get into it, and yeah, this is going to be one hell of an episode, and if you're already kind of feeling it in that episode intro, then yeah, we're going to get into it for sure.
But we want to let everyone know how we know you, because you are someone that we have worked with previously. So let loose. How do we know you? Feel free to say whatever you want about when you met us, and let's share why we first met.

**Charly** (3:56)
Yeah, literally. So I met you the year that this story actually happened. So working overseas for TUI. You guys were reps. I was an entertainer.
And in the year 2014, I was made entertainment team leader for Spain and the Canary Islands. So I was living in Lanzarote, but I also managed hotels in Spain and Canary Islands, and you guys were in Salou. So I met you initially because I got flown over to Salou earlier than planned. Because everything had happened in Lanzarote, I was losing my mind.
So the company were like, they're doing fun things in Salou at the moment. They're going to the theme park, they're going on nights out, they haven't opened yet. Why don't you go join the fun? Try and forget about it. So I got flown over to Salou and that's where I met you guys. At a club probably for the first time. Yeah, that probably was.