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Hump Day Hijinks, Helicopter Horrors & Birthday Shenanigans artwork

Hump Day Hijinks, Helicopter Horrors & Birthday Shenanigans

The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast

September 16, 2026

It’s Hump Day, Melissa’s birthday, and somehow a perfectly innocent celebration turns into helicopters, billion-dollar lottery tickets, homoerotic contractor pranks, seductive Halloween pumpkins, Yellowstone garbage and grown men discovering emotions inside a hardware store.

Speakers Rizz, King Scott, Lern, Devon, Moon, Melissa, Rafe

TopicsComedySociety & Culture

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

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SPEAKER_2 (0:15)

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SPEAKER_1 (0:23)

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Rizz (0:30)

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King Scott (1:30)

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SPEAKER_7 (2:35)

Hey!

Rizz (2:37)

Good morning, everybody. It's Wednesday. It's hump day.

Lern (2:41)

Let's hump.

Rizz (2:42)

Let's hump. How's everybody doing?

Lern (2:46)

I'm pretty good.

Rizz (2:47)

Good. Lern, you good? Best day of my life.

Devon (2:49)

Thank you for asking.

Rizz (2:50)

Rafe, Devon, you good?

Devon (2:52)

I'm awake, yeah.

Rizz (2:53)

Oh, you're awake. Oh, nice. Thanks for being awake today. Appreciate that. Man, today is the day. Been waiting for this day a long time. It's been on the calendar for quite a while. Yes.

And the woman sitting in front of me paid $5,000.

Moon (3:07)

Donated?

Rizz (3:07)

Donated. You're right.

King Scott (3:10)

Yeah, didn't hate you.

Rizz (3:11)

Paid me, went to Rizz Kids directly.

Donated $5,000 to the Ronald McDonald House Charities of St. Louis. And today is her birthday.

Lern (3:20)

Happy birthday.

Rizz (3:21)

Ladies and gentlemen, Melissa joins us. Hi, Melissa.

Melissa (3:28)

Hello.

Rizz (3:30)

First time here? Don't be nervous.

King Scott (3:31)

I'm not nervous.

SPEAKER_10 (3:32)

This is no time.

Melissa (3:34)

I'm good.

King Scott (3:35)

It's just us. I know.

Rizz (3:36)

It's just us and thousands of people listening. It's fine.

Melissa (3:39)

Yeah, it's okay. I told everybody to watch and listen.

Lern (3:42)

So how underwhelming was it coming in here? Like were you like expecting something to be happening like us to be doing like pushups before the show or?

Melissa (3:50)

No.

Lern (3:51)

Yelling at each other before the show or? Nope.

Rizz (3:54)

Is this exactly how you pictured the studio?

Melissa (3:57)

Pretty much.

Rizz (3:58)

It's smaller, right? Smaller than what you'd imagine? Because you're like sandwiched in between Rafe and Lern.

King Scott (4:04)

Yeah, you're in a Rafe and Lern family.

Rizz (4:05)

Yeah, you guys are pretty close to each other.

Rafe (4:08)

Welcome.

Rizz (4:09)

Rafe could reach out and punch you. If he wanted to.

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