How to Think Like the 1% Elite | Dr K

SPEAKER_1 (0:01)

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Dr. K (0:30)

Why do people stay stuck? Because they believe it is impossible. 90% of people that I've worked with are fucking losers. What is it that allows them to move forward? They believe that what they want is possible. Difficulty is not created by the world. Difficulty is created by your response to the world.

Codie Sanchez (0:45)

My guest is Dr. K, a Harvard-trained psychiatrist, who is breaking down the most common psychology myths behind success and failure, and then how to build a feedback loop that improves you instead of eating you alive.

Dr. K (0:57)

The difference between hard and easy is not the size of the task. It has to do with your understanding of the thing. If I take some dude off the street and I'm like, can you make a million-dollar business in a year? They would say no.

Codie Sanchez (1:08)

So where do you start if you want to start achieving the things that you want out of life?

So many people feel like they're stuck, like they can't move past some sort of mental block. They're struggling in their lives in some way. And even if you're a winner, you go through these moments. So I guess my question that I want to start with is like, one, do you see a lot of people who are stuck today? Yes. And two, what do you tell them?

Dr. K (1:35)

So I think the number one problem that I see just on the internet today is everyone is asking how to fix problems. Whereas what they should be asking is, what is the actual problem? So if you ask me, like, how do you help someone who's stuck? I don't know, you, I guess you get behind their car and you start pushing. That'll help if they're stuck, right? Isn't that the solution? If they're stuck, if they're like in a wheelchair and they're trying to get up a stairs, like you wheel them over to the elevator, or is it, are they psychologically stuck? Are they stuck with alcohol? So right now what's going on, and this is an effect of kind of how the internet is morphing, we're morphing the 60 second segments where there's no room for diagnosis. So a lot of the work that I do, and this is hard to describe, is I don't help people find solutions, I help people dissolve problems.

Because even your problem is not exactly what you think it is. And most of what we do, if we talk about like kind of the work that I do, is just like enabling people, it's like helping people understand what the problem is.

If you are unable to fix your problems, you're trying to solve the wrong problem. And one of the crazy things, I'll just give you an example, is I would say 50% of people that I work with that are stuck, aren't stuck, they're holding on.

They're attached to something in their life. Simple example is, let's take addiction. So I did a bunch of addiction psychiatry many years ago. And if you think about why is someone addicted to alcohol, it's not because alcohol is a problem, it's because alcohol is a solution. What are you staying attached to that is preventing you from moving forward?

Codie Sanchez (3:09)

So then what do you do? So if you figure out, okay, you're not stuck, you're holding on, you're choosing to hold on, then what's the next question?

Dr. K (3:16)

So I think that depends on... So I'm a clinician, right? First and foremost, I work with individuals with individual problems. And so we can still generalize certain principles. I'll give you like an example. So I work with a couple of billionaires, but 90% of people that I've worked with are what would be described as fucking losers. So someone who's 26 years old, lives in mom's basement, doesn't do their own laundry, doesn't cook for themselves, jerks off all day, like this is the people that I work with. And there is like literally millions, if not hundreds of millions or billions of young men who like no one is even bothering to help, no one is even aware of. So that's what I set out to do. So I'm gonna tell you a story about one of these people. So I have a friend, for example, who's stuck and his basic problem is that he doesn't allow himself to want.